


Miss You Much

by betchahoney104



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Child Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Child Kim Jongdae | Chen, Child Kim Jongin | Kai, Child Kim Minseok | Xiumin, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Preschool Teachers, Reunions, Smut, highschool lovers, kai and chen are twins, rekindling past relationships, sick, single parent, yifan luhan and tao are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 12:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22496110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betchahoney104/pseuds/betchahoney104
Summary: Yixing has never expected to cross paths with Baekhyun, his first love and ex-boyfriend, which happens to be his twin sons' preschool teacher.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 13
Kudos: 28





	Miss You Much

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I had the urge to write this because it was bothering me so much. And I want to write again. (my last work was still on 2018, I guess?) And this prompt is what I generated way back in 2019 and I just finished it. 
> 
> Excuse my failed porn lol. I really have to practice writing again, I guess. I'm sorry if this won't reach your expectations, count this as something that is for practice.

“Daddy, are you sure there no bad guys at... uh... What do you call that place again, Dae?” The little kid looked down at his twin, who was busy putting on his shoes, “School?” The other kid replied with so much enthusiasm, slipping his other foot into the shoe. “Right, school. Daddy, I’m scared. I don’t want to go.”

Yixing fondly stared at his little Jongin who was pouting a little, before letting out a small chuckle, his calloused hands finding its way gently to flatten the creases of his collar. “Yah, Daddy, why’re you laughing? Are you really sending us to the bad guys at school?” It was Jongdae, already done with his shoes, already standing up and shaking his father’s arm lightly, a small pout resting on his place as well. The overly enthusiastic kid from earlier turning into a scared little ball of fluff.

“You guys know that Daddy loves you both to send you off to some bad guys, right? I would never do that. I just wanted to show you the real world that works outside these walls of our humble home.” Yixing replied in a slow manner where two 4-year old kids could comprehend his words. And it seems like they both understood what he said when they both tackled their father into a tight hug, Yixing half-screaming as he lost his balance, soon enough, laughing already with his sons. “Come on, kids. We’ll all be late for school.”

Jongdae and Jongin stood up and fixed themselves, both handing out their small hands for them to help their Daddy to stand up, then running towards the door, their school bags completely forgotten. Yixing could only just sigh in content at the sight of his twins, they truly made him complete.

It’s has been four years since he and his twins moved to Korea, he decided to start anew. Well, he has been there during high school days, a foreign exchange student from China. It won’t be really hard to adjust to the culture. He has friends from his High school, but never bothered contacting them since his return. Another reason is that everyone is aware of the one-child policy at his nation, Yixing wouldn’t risk losing one from the twins as soon as they were born. He and Qian has initially planned to return to Korea after she gives birth, but unfortunately, it was just him alone who came back, with the twins, of course. She died while giving birth to Jongdae. It was just a miracle that Jongin was taken out sooner or else, you know what already happened.

The twins happily sang “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” loudly, while Yixing drives them off at their daycare center. He could only just smile at his sons who seems to speak more fluent Korean than him, maybe it’s because they spent their early years in Korea, it can’t be blamed though.

After a thirty-minute drive to the daycare, the twins rushed out of the car, but eagerly waiting for their dad to bring their bag to them.

“Remember what I told you, Nini-ah, Dae-ah. You better guys behave, okay? I have prepared lunch for you, better finish them all up, okay? Daddy will be picking you up later.” The twins nodded before tiptoeing for them to kiss their father’s cheeks, the latter crouching down to receive. “I love you two. I’ll be seeing you later?” Yixing, the stood straight, messing their hair that he styled beforehand.

“Yah, Dad-“

“Good morning to you, gentlemen.” A voice cut Jongdae’s complaint, Yixing blinked twice as he felt that he has heard the voice before. The twins shrieked at the unfamiliar voice and hid behind their father’s back.

Yixing didn’t even get to finish his greeting when his eyes met the man in front of him.

It seems like the things surrounding him has stopped, completely mesmerized by the man he hasn’t seen in---

He gulped, before turning his gaze away from the other, his hands blindly searching for the twins’ heads, reaching for their hands. “Uh, Good morning to you, these are my,” a pause, “my children, Zhongren and Zhongda. But you can address them as Jongin and Jongdae. I’m Zhang Yixing, by the way.” He introduced, even he’s aware that the man- by the name of Baekhyun, knows him already. He did it for the sake of his kids.

The same goes to Baekhyun, the moment his gaze locked with the other, he knew to himself that he’s fucked. _“Why, why, why is he here?”_ his expression seemed like he has seen a ghost, but he quickly changed into a neutral one.

“Byun Baekhyun.” The other replied, his head bowed lightly and his voice almost cracking at the last syllable of his name. Baekhyun, then cleared his throat, crouching down to meet the eye level of the kids presented to him, ignoring the father of the two. “Hello there, lovelies!” there was a bright, friendly smile painting his face as he offered his hands at the twins. “I’ll be your preschool teacher, Byun Baekhyun. You can just call me Mr. Byun. I hope we can have a great school year ahead of us?”

Jongdae was the first one to reach out for his new teacher’s hand, shaking it lightly. “I’m Jongdae!” He smiled widely before nudging his twin brother with his elbow. “Yah, Nini, greet our teacher!” the said name made a small movement and he shyly reached out for Baekhyun’s hand and shook it. “I’m Jongin, nice meetin’ you… Mr. Byun.”

“They’re so cute!” Baekhyun suddenly exclaimed which startled Yixing from his place, breaking his fond gaze towards the three. “Jongin, Jongdae, please enter the building now, I’ll meet you soon, okay?” And with that, the twins scurried inside the daycare, leaving their father and Baekhyun behind.

Silence filled them for almost two minutes, with Baekhyun eyeing Yixing with that unusual fond gaze he has. The other can’t even look at him directly. “It has been a while, Xingie,” Baekhyun started off, breaking the loud-not-so-loud silence which deafens them both. Yixing tried his best not to feel fluttered at the nickname Baekhyun has given him 7 years ago, it really has a huge effect on him, until now. “You already have sons as well,” he added, a smile creeping his face, which made Yixing look at him.

Yixing scratched his head, nodding, but can’t even make an eye contact with the other. “Yeah, I didn’t really expect to meet you here, of all places. You’re even my twins’ preschool instructor. What a small world we are living in.” Baekhyun chuckled, a hand patting Yixing’s shoulder which made the latter flinch at the electrifying feeling running through his veins. The other must have felt it as he quickly retracted his hand away from him, trying his best not to make any physical contact with Yixing. Hiding his hand in his pocket, he looked at Yixing once more. “As much as I wanted to talk about our lives, I also have classes in an hour. Please keep an eye to my children, Hyunie. Thank you.” The slightly elder man bowed a little before running back to his car, leaving the other in his place.

* * *

Saying that Yixing is surprised, is truly an understatement, of all people from his past, he’ll be meeting his first love. He’ll be meeting Byun Baekhyun.

* * *

_“You know what, when we get older and become capable adults, we’ll fly to Greece and get married there, adopt two dogs and two children. That’s my plan for us, Hyunie, I hope you’ll stay with me no matter what.” Yixing whispered, enough for Baekhyun to hear, they’re lying on the bed of Yixing’s dormitory, naked and drenched in sweat and sticky with their releases from earlier._

_Baekhyun shifted and laid down on his tummy, his head turned at Yixing who was staring at him so fond, so loving. He nodded and his hand reached out to caress Yixing’s cheeks._

_Their moment screams perfection, they didn’t want this night to end. Everything just felt so right, in each other’s arms, talking about the future they desperately wanted._

_“I’ll always be at your side, Xingie. You’ll never lose me. I love you so much.” Baekhyun feels like crying, oh how he loved Yixing so much, he never wanted to be apart to him. “Hey are you crying? Oh God,” Yixing was quick to wipe Baekhyun’s unshed tears, leaning closer and pressing a kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead, nose, then a chaste kiss on his much smaller lips, where the latter quickly melted right into._

_“I promise, Byun Baekhyun, I’ll only make you cry at bed and at our wedding day. No more other reasons. I love you too.”_

* * *

Of course, Yixing wasn’t able to keep his promise. He only wanted to kill himself upon seeing Baekhyun’s puffy, crying face that night. Where the younger found out something that will truly destroy his relationship with Yixing.

* * *

_“Tell me you’re lying, please. You can’t do this to me. No,” Baekhyun gripped on Yixing’s wrist, not wanting the other to Not wanting to let Yixing go._

_With his best neutral face, Yixing pushed Baekhyun’s grip off him, his mind apologizing at the other who really looks agonizing. It’s hurting Yixing too, but he thinks that this will be the best decision. He needs to man up and live up with his responsibilities._

_“Baekhyun, I’m not. I’m sorry.”_

_“No! I thought you loved me! Why are you doing this to me? It wasn’t yours, right? Please, Yixing.” Baekhyun, being the insistent person, he is, reached out for Yixing’s wrist but the latter quickly evaded it. It just broke his heart to know that Yixing wasn’t lying and wasn’t even doing anything to fix whatever’s broken between them. “I love you, Baekhyun. But I ain’t lying. Song Qian’s child is mine. We’re got so drunk during Yifan’s party and ended up doing it,” he paused for a moment, eyeing the love of his life’s broken expression that truly breaks his heart, Yixing looked away, “A-and these are the consequences of our careless actions.”_

_Hearing Baekhyun’s painful cries brings pain to his entirety as well. He couldn’t stand breaking his love’s heart, but he thinks he deserves to know everything. The truth._

_Cries, cries and more cries left Baekhyun’s lips, as if there was no intention of stopping. It’s really hard, but Yixing decides to drop everything off. Because Baekhyun deserves everything the world could give. The truth. Not him._

_“I’m going back to China after graduation, a-and I’m taking Song Qian with me too.”_

* * *

Yixing closed his book, rather loudly, startling the students that are studying inside the library with him. The librarian gave him a blank but deadly stare. He whispered out a small apology before rushing out with his things.

He was so distracted all day; he even received a scolding from one of his professors for being late in his music theory class. From the moment after meeting Baekhyun, his mind is always drifted to the man. The preschool teacher of his sons. It means he’s going to meet the other guy more. He’s fucked up, he thinks. Yixing decided to have an early shift at Luhan’s café, since his schedule in university is still light.

As soon as he arrived at the café, he quickly changed in to his work outfit and started manning up at the counter, hoping that working at an early hour could totally distract him from thinking about Baekhyun.

* * *

“Is that the lunch box your daddy has prepared for you?” Baekhyun smiled at the twins, seeing an Iron Man and a Spiderman decoration at the bento box they have. It was Baekhyun’s thing to check out on his students’ lunches, seeing if their parents are really taking good care of their children.

Jongin shyly looked at his young teacher and flashed a toothy grin at the elder. He was the one who has the Iron Man on his food. “Daddy makes sure he makes awesome stuff for us, even at home.” “Daddy is so cool, right Mr. Byun?” Jongdae butted in to their conversation, even at his timid smile, you can see how the corner of his lips curl up, he resembles a cat.

Baekhyun blinked at the twins, observing the grapes and the rice box presented, before flashing a soft smile. “Yeah, your dad is so cool.” Yixing’s gentle and fond smile suddenly popping on his mind. After all, it seems like he never even changed, even a bit. He just became more mature and ~~more handsome~~ reserved. Plus, he has kids as well. “Anyway, you two enjoy your lunch, okay. I know Mr. Zhang will be delighted to know if you wolfed down your food.” The twins giggled as their hair was ruffled by Baekhyun.

It was surprising. And unexpected, he sees so much Yixing from his twins, the way Jongin gracefully danced and Jongdae beautifully sang during their introductory part in class. Baekhyun was sure that the twins had inherited their father’s talent. He stood up and left the class with Seulgi for a moment before rushing to the vacant music room where he met Sehun who was eating his burger. Baekhyun wasted no more time and spilled everything to his best friend.

“I can’t believe this is happening, Hun. I can’t...” Baekhyun wanted to cry, wanted to scream his lungs out. But he can’t. It’s literally the first day of their classes, he doesn’t want to give of a negative impression to his little students. “Why is he here? I can’t. His sons are even my students! I’m so fucked up.” He added, his breathing became unstable and he was hyperventilating, his mind still can’t get over at the unexpected meeting with Yixing earlier.

Sehun could only sigh, providing enough space for Baekhyun to breathe and even gave him a bottle of water to help him calm down. “Everything went unexpected too, hyung. How are you feeling now?”

“Terrible. I feel so terrible. I could only see Zhang Yixing from his sons. I thought I already moved on, Sehun. But after seeing him in flesh, all of my feelings came back rushing in.” Baekhyun wiped of his face in frustration, stealing a fry from Sehun the sighed.

“Do you want me to sub for you? Or we’ll take over their class together?” Sehun suggested, breaktime is almost over, and he needed to go back to his class, and see Yixing’s twins again.

Byun Baekhyun is totally fucked up.

* * *

“Medium-sized Vanilla Bean Frappe coming right up, sir!” Yixing chirped, a soft smile grazing his features as he inputs the customer’s order in the register, before making his way to prepare the drink.

“Yixing hyung! Let me take care of that now!” A distant voice was heard from the other side of the counter, the said name turned at the person. He was greeted with a wide smile from the other, it was just Taemin. “Ah, let me, this will be my last customer then, you can start manning the counter up now.” The elder, then, went back with his frappe.

“Here you go, sir. Thank you and have a nice day!” Yixing handed the cup and bowed at the man, the smile on his face never leaving its place.

“Ah, Taemin-ah, I’ll be heading now, I actually worked a little extra since the twins are attending preschool now, you know, they have more needs.” The elder man patted Taemin’s back before heading at the storage slash employee’s room. Removing his apron and changing back into casual clothes from earlier, he decided to head back to university for his next 2-hour class in his music composition.

He grabbed his rice box and ate it on the way back to uni. He still has three hours before he needs to pick-up his twins at the daycare.

And again, Yixing’s mind drifted back to a certain someone named, Byun Baekhyun.

* * *

“Xing hyung, heading somewhere?” Taeyong, a junior, followed the rushing male who was walking in haste through the hallways. Being the nice guy Yixing was, he paused for a moment and looked at the younger. “Hmm? Picking up my twins, it’s their first day in preschool, you know.” He replied, a fond smile appearing on his face at the thought of his kids.

Taeyong knows about Yixing being a father of two, he was the latter’s first friend upon his return in Korea, and sometimes, he visits their place and plays with Yixing’s kids. His eyes went wide, filled with surprise, “Really? At Haru’s?” Yixing nodded, the curve of his lips never faltering.

“I see, I was supposed to invite you for a party at my place tonight, if you’re free and if you’re not feeling _that same pain_ again?” Yixing thought about it quickly. Maybe he can ask his neighbor, Ahyoung and let his twins stay over at hers for tonight, and besides, a hangout is well-deserved for a hardworking man like him. He can settle the future investments and bills for later, he wants to have fun, _even maybe this might be the last_. “Sure, I’ll be seeing you later at 9, then?” He asked and the younger boy agreed.

It was a nice and smooth ride on his way back to the preschool since it wasn’t even rush hour to begin with. Yixing sat on the benches at the waiting area as he waits for the dismissal time for the kids. Anxiety unconsciously started filling his veins up at the thought of meeting his twins’ preschool teacher slash his first love the second time around. He felt puking and even if he wanted to run away, his father instincts always come first. Kids first before his ex-boyfriend. Yixing, at the back of his head, never wishes that the bell will ring so soon.

“Daddy!!!” Jongdae’s loud voice suddenly filled his senses, he didn’t even notice that the twins were already in front of him, two bright children beaming at him. “Oh, Dae-ah, Nini-ah. Hello there, big boys of mine.” Yixing, the gave a kiss at each’s head. “Shall we get going?” He suggested, the twisting of his stomach due to his anxiousness completely forgotten at the presence of his two sons. Both shook their head and they turned at the direction where their room resides, a Byun Baekhyun coming out, bidding their classmates goodbye and a take care. That uneasy feeling in his insides returned when Baekhyun caught their sights, a slight shocked expression in his face but was quickly replaced with a soft smile at the twins. Yixing gulped subtlety as the preschool teacher approached them. “Mr. Zhang, good afternoon.” The said name really didn’t really like how that sounded, coming out from Baekhyun’s lips, but he knows better to keep the stranger’s act in front of Jongdae and Jongin.

“Good afternoon, too. Are my kids causing trouble at their first day?” Yixing asked, as if he still wanted to have a longer conversation with Baekhyun. But he really wanted to hear more of the other’s voice. It still felt like home, even after a lot of years, but Yixing was quick to push that thought at the back of his head. Baekhyun smiled that gentle, ~~fucking charming~~ and friendly one directed to the other as his hands are playing with Jongdae’s hair, before shaking his head. “I assure you, Mr. Zhang, no troubles. They seem to behave well, must have gotten it from their father, hm?” there was a hint of amusement in Baekhyun’s tone that Yixing tries hard to ignore, but failed to do so, the latter looked down at his sons instead, a small smile directed at his sons at the remark. “I see, I guess, we’ll be heading now. Thank you, Mr. Byun.” And Yixing was about to bow at him when, “Baekhyun. Just call me Baekhyun. And take care for the three of you.” Baekhyun bowed, the first one to break the accumulating tension was him, himself and left.

Yixing was taken aback, like how can Baekhyun still act casual despite of the past and the way he acted earlier this morning.

“L-let’s go.” Yixing held his hands to his twins and they left the place immediately.

* * *

“Mr. Byun is so cool.” “I know, right. He’s really friendly, the other kids like him too as well!”

All Yixing could hear in their ride home was compliments for their Mr. Byun coming from the mouth of his children. He knew it to himself, cool, friendly, amazing, he knows every single positive adjective can be directed to him. He knows it too well. “Don’t you think too, daddy? About Mr. Byun? Cool?” Jongin chirped, he must have developed a soft spot for his teacher. “Uh, I guess so. He is cool.” Yixing looked at the twins through his rearview mirror, light-tipped smile plastered on his face, his grip on the wheel tightening unusally. _‘My head’s being a fucking pain again, damn.’_

It didn’t take long enough when they reached their apartment building, “Anyway, your Uncle Taeyong invited me at his house tonight, I was wondering if you two could crash at your Ahyoung noona for tonight?” Yixing asked as he pulled over at the parking lot, before turning at his kids. “Can’t we come too, Daddy?” Jongdae pouted, holding onto the backrest of the passenger’s seat in front, making himself extra adorable, knowing Yixing won’t say no. But this time, it’s the opposite. “If you come with me, then you two might end up waking up late, and if you wake up late, then you two may not be able to go to classes to see your cool Mr. Byun. You wouldn’t like that, don’t you?” Yixing teased, judging from the way the twins talk about Baekhyun, it seems like they became attached at the guy already.

Jongin nudged Jongdae’s side with his elbow. “Yah, Jongdae-ah, we won’t see Mr. Oh as well. Let’s just let daddy enjoy his night.” And oh, Jongin is so sweet, Yixing might have melted with his son’s words. “Oh, right. Enjoy for later, then, daddy.” Jongdae smiled, reaching out to wrap his tiny arms around Yixing’s neck and smacked his cheek rather loudly that made the latter laugh.

“Aiyo, you two are charmers. Let’s get going now? I’ll carry you two upstairs.” After Jongdae pulled away, Yixing went out and stopped in front of the backseat door to grab his children, carrying both kids in his arms, as well as their school bags, his head long forgotten. “Since when you two became heavy now?” he laughed as they made their way inside their unit.

“Since the time daddy always provides us delicious food,” “We can’t stop eating so much!” the boys answered, one at a time, with so much enthusiasm and delight, and Yixing knew where their charming trait got it. From himself, of course.

* * *

“You two, don’t be a pain in the ass for your Ahyoung noona, okay? Daddy will be back at midnight, I’ll pick you up later, understood?” Yixing has already packed their 1-night go-bag and carried them outside, the kids following suit.

One, two knocks, from the door across their own abode, the three were greeted by a young woman carrying a kid in the same age as the twins. “Yixing!” Ahyoung greeted, her daughter waving at the boys with a toothless grin. “Having a group project that needs to be done with others and let me guess, you need someone to take care of these cuties for the night?” She declared, only to receive a cackle from the mentioned name. “Not really a group project but a hangout with some of my friends, but your absolutely right! So, can I?” Yixing grinned, Ahyoung has already stepped back from her place to make room for the kids to enter.

“You deserve a hangout with your college friends, Xing. You’ve been a hardworking and selfless father. Have some time for yourself!” The lady complimented, that it only made Yixing blush.

“Y-yeah, thanks a lot! So, I’ll be heading now? Dae-ah, Nini-ah, aren’t you going to kiss daddy goodbye?” He crouched down at his kids’ level and the twins quickly rushed and places a wet kiss on their father’s cheek. “Take care, daddy” “Enjoy your night, we’ll behave, we promise!”

* * *

Yixing arrived tad early from his given time, he was greeted by a slightly dimmed area, with pink and purple neon lights run over the sides and corners of the ceiling, several beer towers were arranged on the countertops, and there are even finger foods set beside where the towers are. Leather couches sat by the sides accompanied by coffee tables, and there is even a small stage and a small dance floor where people can perform or dance when the please, there was a mellow music playing in the background and it was kind of soothing. Taeyong must be really rich to afford such place. “Hyung!! You really came!” Taeyong exclaimed and approached the elder who seem to be still stunned by the ambience of the area.

“O-of course, I guess I really need a break from my father duties even a tad bit. Ahyoung, you know, my neighbor, took my kids at crash over.” Yixing explained, but was never given a proper response when the doors of the lounge opened up, revealing some of their college classmates, peeps from the music and dance club, which Taeyong excused himself in order to welcome his guests. Yixing quietly greeted those of familiar faces and he decided to crash down on one of the seats when he noticed that Taeyong wouldn’t be back sooner.

“Zhang Yixing?” An oddly familiar deep voice rang over his ears, he looked up only to see three very, very familiar faces and one a new one.

“Holy shit, Xing! It is really you!” the man exclaimed, quickly taking the seat next to the mentioned name and shook his shoulders to confirm that he is really existing in front of him. “We’re not dreaming! Yixing is really here!!”

Yixing was unable to focus on the other boys as his eyes were just directed at a certain someone, like what on earth did he do to meet this very same person whom he least wanted to see, thrice a day? But of course, he didn’t let himself get distracted at that man’s presence and turned to the two louder guys who kept shaking his soul out of his body. “Kim Junmyeon, Park Chanyeol! Stop exaggerating! I’m really here you dumbfucks! Oh, and hello there, Baekhyun and—" Yixing motioned at the tall-like-Chanyeol one, whom he already got the cue and introduced himself, “Sehun, Oh Sehun.” The fourth man greeted; an awkward smile plastered on his face, as he quickly realizes that this man in front of them is the Yixing that was once Baekhyun’s lover.

It took a little while when Chanyeol and Junmyeon to get used to their high school friend’s presence with them, and being the curious guy Junmyeon is, he started off with one simple question like, “Since when have you arrived at Korea?”

“Around four years al-“ “WHAT THE FUCK, BRO?! YOU’VE BEEN HERE FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS AND DIDN’T EVEN BOTHER CONTACTING US?!” Chanyeol yelled loudly, but not so loud that it can gain so much attention, only at their table. Yixing jerked at the exclamation and his eyes quickly landed at Baekhyun who was just looking at him that screams, “UNBELIEVEABLE!!!”, but he didn’t even say anything.

“Uh, I’m sorry!! I’m sorry!! I was just scared that you might get surprised when I spilled some huge news,” Yixing scratched his head nervously, he was still not able to spill the news to Chanyeol and Junmyeon because he left immediately with Song Qian after receiving their diplomas in graduation.

“Well you guys see,” Yixing started off, but he was quickly interrupted by Sehun who volunteered to grab drinks from them, in his peripheral vision, he can see Baekhyun pleading the other man not to leave him alone, but was ignored, so he was left with his high school friends and ex-boyfriend.

Chanyeol and Junmyeon leaned closer, and of course, Baekhyun leaned closer as well, not even wanting to hint about their awkwardness and stuff. “Okay so, I’m a father of two boys now. Song Qian was the mother of the twins.” Yixing spilled, embarrassment filling his insides, he was tad feeling a bit ashamed, not with his beloved twin sons, but of himself for keeping a secret over the group of people who helped him adapt to the surroundings at his first stay in Korea, “What?” Chanyeol, once more, yelled, his expression was in between surprised and disappointed. “You’re married already?” he added, seems like his mind was not even processing all of the details Yixing had revealed.

“Is that the reason why you ran away after graduation? You didn’t even attend the after party. And even Song Qian.” Junmyeon has brought the pieces little by little, he also shares the same expression as Chanyeol but was quicker to compose himself. Both men looked over at the unusually quiet friend, who didn’t share the same reaction. He remained blank, as if he knows everything already. “Baekhyun?” Chanyeol called out but seem to be spacing out, Junmyeon nudged the male for his attention, “Care to say or even react something?” the taller male added.

But before Baekhyun was about to open his mouth, Junmyeon spilled something, “Baekhyun was a total mess when you suddenly left, Xing.

You two are the closest and are inseparable, leaving him off with nothing was completely devastating to him.” The eldest of the four glanced at Baekhyun, who quickly looked away, and immediately coughed, wanting the attention to him, not even bothering to see Yixing’s reaction at Junmyeon’s revelation. “As I was about to say earlier, his sons are my students are preschool. I was e-even shocked to see two kids addressing him as their father.” Yixing’s examined Baekhyun’s face closely, there’s still a hint of shock and hurt present in his eyes, but he ignored the latter part.

“Byun Baekhyun, what?!” Chanyeol loudly yelled for the nth time that night, his expression suddenly looking like a kicked big puppy who was left off by his owner.

“Hy—B-baekhyun’s right. We did see each other earlier t-today while sending off my kids at the preschool he works o-on.” Yixing felt like choking upon almost revealing the nickname that was only for his ~~ex~~ -lover to hear.

“Save that for later!! I wanna hear about what happened at Yixing, 7 years ago!!” Junmyeon pouted, shushing both men, and just in time, Sehun came back carrying a tower of beer and 5 cups for them to share. “Sehun, come here! Yixing’s about to tell his story!” Chanyeol, after Sehun carefully placing the tower at their table, pulled him beside him before Baekhyun could.

Now Baekhyun is doomed, without Sehun beside him, he might break down when he hears Yixing’s whereabouts and what abouts over the past years.

“Do I even have to do this?” Yixing chuckled, pouring himself a cup full of whisky, taking a short glance at Baekhyun, before starting off. “Well you guys are aware about Yifan’s party for the exchange students that happened seven years ago, before graduation? I was there, Song Qian was there too.”

* * *

_The dark place is suffocating, the smell of alcohol reeked with the tight air inside the bar, Yixing was already getting hazy and dizzy at just the smell of alcohol. “Yixing-ge!” Zitao called over loudly through the booming volume of the speakers inside, but luckily, Yixing was able to spot the overly familiar voice, despite of the noise filling the area. The said name approached the younger man, who was with their other foreign exchange students that came from China. Yifan, Song Qian, Amber, Jackson, Bambam, Mark, Henry and many more. He was greeted by a shot glass half-filled being thrusted in his chest. Yixing gladly took it, drank it and asked for another one._

_Until he took in so many shots that were uncountable that night._

_Yixing became so wild that night, he kept on dancing, drinking and maybe he had lived up and started enjoying what graduating college students should be really doing._

_A lot cheered and he was being watched, some even recording that infamous dance step that both boys and girls could scream. That grinding with the floor step._

_Despite being so wasted that night, he could hear a lot of girls wishing to be the floor in order to feel that dancer hips of his grinding against them._

_When he got exhausted from dancing, and could feel his body burning from the heat, Yixing, unknown to his senses, pulled off his shirt and walked out of the dance floor, tons are still cheering for him._

* * *

“You were really wilding that night, Xing. Don’t do the same thing here, eo?” Junmyeon, who was already close to tears, blurted out in between laughter. “Yah! Don’t even mention that! I’ve grown now, Jun.” Yixing shrieked, lightly pushing Junmyeon in hopes that the latter might calm down, but he didn’t.

“And how did things escalate with Song Qian, then?”

Of all people that could ask that very question, why Baekhyun? Yixing’s mouth went agape for a few seconds but quickly closed it when he saw Sehun looking at him in a way that was making him freak out internally. Baekhyun kept that blank face, but his eyes are so damn expressive, Yixing can still see through it. So hard to ignore. And it was bothering him to the bones.

“Ah, yeah. So, things happened unexpectedly, being drunk and negligent and unconscious in a way that the mind was controlled by the alcohol completely, I pulled the very first person I could grab, made out with them, and walked drunk to a room and you guys must have already guessed what happened.”

It was really weird. Very, very weird that Yixing is spilling the moments of his mistakes in front of his first love whom he broke very badly. He had loved Baekhyun so much in the past, they shared moment behind closed doors and fallen curtains and in everyone’s eyes, they seem to be normal best friends who were just so fond of each other.

And now, he could see Baekhyun wanting to keep himself from breaking down in front of them and reveal their past, but it seems weird since Yixing had kids and was even in love with a guy.

“You’re wild. Really, really wild. Must have guess that night created life.” Chanyeol teased, and Yixing just nodded, before emptying the contents from the cup he’s holding, he groaned at the taste of alcohol burning his throat, but it felt so nice.

A loud thumping of the glass hitting the coffee table was heard from Junmyeon’s side, it was Baekhyun who seem to gulped a cup full of the liquid, it was noticeable since there are drips of it spilling over his lips. “W-woah, Byun Baek, since when did you start drinking so much in one go?” Sehun exclaimed, going towards his best friend and rubbed soothing circles on his back, “I just feel like.” Baekhyun answered, a forced smile plastered on his face, his gaze piercing through Yixing who just gulped in return.

“You’re unfair, Xing! Don’t you trust us, and decided to leave with no alert beforehand?” Baekhyun yelled, seems like the alcohol was starting to control his mind, that fast.

Yixing was left speechless, “I’m sor—” “Sorry? You think sorry can make up the time that you were away?” Sehun pushed Baekhyun to lean on the couch and he didn’t fight it anymore and he drifted off _maybe?_

“That’s how upset Baekhyun was after your graduation, though.” Sehun explained, and Yixing could only squint his eyes at the man. _“Is he Baekhyun’s boyfriend? How long had they meet? Why does he seem to be close with the other guys as well?”_ Yixing’s mind screamed, but he didn’t let his mouth reveal his questions.

“Baekhyun must have passed out from that. Anyway, how are things going with Song Qian?” Junmyeon asked for the second time around and all he got from the other was a sad smile and a whisper of “She died already.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that, Xing.” Junmyeon replied, patting the slightly younger male on the back. “That must have explained your choice of words from earlier and I quote, ‘Song Qian was the mother of the kids,’” Sehun added. Yixing was a bit thankful that the Sehun guy didn’t judge him from the shits of his past. “You know, your twins are so nice and respectful and very, very friendly towards the other, I work with Baekhyun at the preschool and I have met them already,” Sehun smiled while his hands are rubbing on Baekhyun’s thigh. Yixing’s eyes squinted at the small action. “What? You met them as well?” Chanyeol, with his kicked overgrown puppy look, exclaimed, indirect telling Yixing that he wants to meet the kids as well. “Hey me too! I wanna spoil my nephews!” Junmyeon butted in, grinning weirdly at the former.

“Soon,” Yixing’s tone screams promise, so he will definitely let his high school friends meet his sons and maybe, reveal to them that he has already known Baekhyun way back.

“Oh, wait.” Baekhyun’s slurry voice suddenly popped out of nowhere, being the masochist, he is, he desperately wants, _needs_ to know everything. So, he could _move on_ now. “Things happened seven years ago, then you must have a seven or six-year-old with y-you. Not a pair of four-year-old twins.”

Yixing could only sigh at Baekhyun’s over curiosity. Why isn’t he letting him live though? He could easily answer the questions but those coming from Baekhyun’s once loud mouth, it kinda, stings.

“When we got back in China, her parents forced me to marry her, instead of just letting me support the baby at all aspects. I had no choice; we can’t abort the baby since it will forever haunt our conscience. I was a pure shit to Qian at her pregnancy days, I would scream at her, blame her for everything, that because of her,” Yixing paused, trying to make an eye contact with Baekhyun, “I couldn’t be with the one I really love.” He then broke off their eye contact, none between Chanyeol and Junmyeon noticing the heavy tension between them, and it was good, except for Sehun’s observant eyes.

“Song Qian experienced a miscarriage at her fifth month, I was so guilty, she did nothing but to make me feel that she is a deserving wife for me. Everything was against her as well, I decided to move on and start a new, I tried falling in love with Song Qian, which became a success, we tried again, she got pregnant the second time, when we found about her having twins, we decided to move back to Korea because of the policy implemented about having one child per household, I couldn’t bear to lose another child,” Yixing, then, poured another cup full before downing it in one go, “She died while giving birth, she already had a weak heart that time.” He ended off, head bowed down and his eyes glued on the cup he’s holding. Hums from the four boys is what all he received but his main concern this time was the tipsy Byun Baekhyun, he must have been hard for him to listen to the stories of his first love about someone else that isn’t him.

“Anyway, that’s enough for me, your turn guys.” Yixing smiled, it was time for him to know the others’ stories as well. He found out that Junmyeon was already married to a certain someone named, Bae Joohyun and they already have three kids, two boys named Kyungsoo and Minseok and a youngest girl named Sooyoung, and they already own an advertising company. Then at Chanyeol, he’s already a performer, he even compliments a certain producer with a Pseud name “LAY” and Yixing just wanted to roll on the floor laughing upon seeing’s his friend’s dumbfounded expression when he confessed that he was LAY. He and Sehun also became close, he discovered that Sehun was two years younger than Baekhyun and Chanyeol but managed to keep off with the trio’s loudness. Sehun was also the “Mr. Oh” the kids were talking about earlier. Also, Taeyong was everyone’s mutual friend, met through Chanyeol’s agency as he is also a trainee to become an idol. And Baekhyun, he discovered that Baekhyun wasn’t still in a relationship, that he tried dating but none worked out, even Chanyeol. Their break-up must have done so much damage to him that he’s afraid of risking, Yixing feels so damn guilty about it.

The rest of the night continues with the whole lounge partying, the smell of alcohol filling the area, the music started booming loudly from the speakers, Chanyeol being the DJ of the party, and in no time, everyone was dancing wildly at the dance floor, some are playing darts and beer pong at the corner.

The last thing Yixing could remember is when he felt a pair of lips kissing his own desperately, before everything became blur.

* * *

Yixing woke up feeling like hell, his head was pounding so loudly, ‘ _it’s getting painful again, shit_ ’, the world seem to spin so fast, but his dizziness was placed aside at the weight above him, arms wrapped around him desperately, the skin to skin contact was bringing goosebumps on his skin.

_Oh shit._

He carefully removed the arm around him and moved the weight away from him, and his eyes almost bulged out from his sockets upon realizing that the person he slept with is none other than

_Byun Baekhyun._

And in that moment, every single memory of him and Baekhyun in the past came rushing back. Their first meeting at the library, their closeness as friends, the confession between them, the decision that they hid their relationship to Chanyeol and Junmyeon, the nights together, talking about their future and those nights they sneak in each other’s dorms and they made love many times. Yixing also recalls the moment where he broke his lover’s heart, and he, himself, felt a part of him has died too.

Yixing looked around and found himself naked, in bed in a neat apartment, expect their clothes that were strewn on the floor, noticing that there were his own. This must be Baekhyun’s, he thought.

_“But what the hell am I doing here?”_ Yixing’s mind repeatedly screams at him. At the eerie silence given off by the surroundings, he can only hear Baekhyun’s soft snoring that Yixing thought that he’ll never hear again, his heart pounding and almost wanting to jump out of his chest. He sighed, took a few minutes staring at his ex-lover sleeping soundly on his bed. Yixing knows for sure that there something happened between them, it’s inevitable. He may not remember what happened in real, but all he knows is that he has really missed Baekhyun’s presence.

As soon as he started clearing his head for a moment, he slowly sneaked out of bed, not even wanting Baekhyun to recognize his sudden departure, but before he could stand up, he was halted by a hand gripping on his wrist, Yixing looked at it before moving his gaze at Baekhyun who was mumbling some words that sounded like “Stay.” and “Don’t leave me again.” Which just made the elder’s eyes widen, and not long, Baekhyun’s sleepy yet expressive eyes were just staring at him. “Xingie…”

Now he’s torn, he wanted to stay and rebuild their relationship, but he isn’t sure if that is what the other really wants, and besides, he has kids already, _and something more_. Like no one wants to get hooked with someone who has kids. “No, Baek. I can’t.” Yixing took a deep breath before continuing, “This is a mistake, please. Just forget that this happened. I’m sorry.” He muttered, slowly slipping in his clothes, avoiding any more conversations with the other. _“I can’t, as I won’t be around any longer.”_

“A mistake?” He felt the other side rustle, Baekhyun was in his sitting position already, tears welling up in his eyes, and Yixing can’t even look at him, he had seen this devastated expression of his already, it’s hard especially it was because of him who’s causing all of this to the other. “Is that all I am to you throughout these years, Yixing? A fucking mistake?” Baekhyun yelled, his voice was loud, angry but it sounded so broken, it was already piercing a wide wound in Yixing’s heart. “No, Baek, I—” “I was doing well until you showed up again,” the younger added, his voice softer but there was still remains of pain in it, and in no time, he has let his tears flow down his eyes, “Tell me how to feel okay? Why, Yixing? Why did you come back again? Seeing you was just bringing pain once more.”

And now, Yixing has the audacity and guts to turn to Baekhyun, who looks so fragile and broken. His own pain doubled up, but he kept silent. There are a lot of words his heart wants to scream out but his mouth and mind refused to let it all out. He was left with no choice, “I’m really sorry, Baekhyun.” Were the only words that left his lips before standing up and left the bedroom, not missing how Baekhyun broke down into a sobbing mess. “You’re not a mistake to me.” Yixing mumbled, but he made sure not to let the other hear and he completely left the apartment unit, leaving the love of his life, and another part of his heart has died once more.

He was right about not bringing his car with him, with stumbly legs, he dashed out of the but he realized that the place where he was is just three blocks away from his own. _“So, all this time, I was living close to him?”_ he thought, biting his lip nervously and tried so hard not to cry at a public place.

* * *

There was already a change of plans after a week of meeting Baekhyun, he decided to let Ahyoung send his twins to preschool since her daughter miraculously attends school there as well. Even in dismissals. Yixing was glad he can use “College” as an excuse just to avoid running into Baekhyun once more. He can’t even realize that his longing for the smaller guy was returning, like how he was longing for him when he and Song Qian went back to China.

Of course, Yixing never fails to be a father to the twins, though he misses the first time they bonded in the car when he was sending the twins back and forth in preschool.

Weekends came and the three were just in the apartment, sitting lazily at the couch, their father in between them, Yixing took the chance to bond more and have talks with his babies. “How’s preschool?”

Jongin was the one who answered in behalf of the other, “T’was really nice, Daddy. Mr. Byun was really nice and he always says good things about me and Dae since we are doing good at class!”

Oh. Maybe that explains the numerous stars that were stamped on their wrists the other night. “Daddy! Mr. Byun also said that we are also good with our talents and we should practice more to be as great as Park Chanyeol! We wanted to be like him, Daddy.” Jongdae added that made Yixing chuckle at that.

“Do you know,” Yixing started off, automatically gaining the innocent curiosity of both, heads up, gazing at him expectantly. He finds it so endearing. “I was once friends with Park Chanyeol. Back in high school.”

A pause.

Both blinked fast at their father. “No way, daddy!” Jongdae pouted, hitting his father playfully on the chest. “We don’t believe you.” The other added, scoffing. “Oh really?” Yixing teased, bring out his phone and showed them a group picture of them 5 back in Taeyong’s party, but quickly zoomed it in where he and Chanyeol can only be seen, good thing they were sitting together that night. “You still won’t believe me?” He showed the picture and he can see the jaws of the twins dropping and he just wanted to laugh at their reaction. “Seriously?!” “Daddy, why didn’t you tell us!!” And that was the time Yixing had burst out laughing, so hard that tears were already forming at the corners of his eyes. The twins quickly stood up in front of Yixing, a sulky expression visible on their faces. “Daddy, don’t laugh at us!” Jongin yelled with his little voice, of course, Yixing composed himself and looked at the two properly, his laughter still undying. “Okay, okay! You didn’t believe me at first! But it was true that I’m friends with him. We just met that night…” He suddenly paused at the memory of that night. Baekhyun. “At the party I attended to.” Out of nowhere, he accidentally tapped on his phone, zooming out the picture where the 5 of them can be seen smiling at the photograph.

“Oh! You’re 5!” Jongdae took the phone and zoomed in once more, focusing on the faces of the other guys, Jongin beside him. “Wait, Nini, isn’t this Mr. Oh?” the twins looked at each other in confirmation before looking down at the screen where they can see a Byun Baekhyun grinning cutely at the camera. “Mr. Byun!” Jongin exclaimed and not long enough, both looked at Yixing, as if they’re waiting for him to explain something. “Okay, Baekhyun was also my friend back in high school. My best friend to be exact.” Yixing confessed, sighing, not looking at the twins in the eyes as if he has done something so awful it made him guilty.

He was expecting a childish, innocent scolding from the kids, and questions like ‘Why did you and Mr. Byun act like you didn’t know each other?’ but he saw how their faces lit up. “Does that mean Mr. Byun can come here?” “And Mr. Oh too?”

“And Park Chanyeol?!” both exclaimed, a hint of excitement in their tones.

And that moment, Yixing felt trapped.

He has to made a decision in making his friends and the twins meet. But it means, he has to meet Byun Baekhyun again.

Another sigh left his lips once more, before smiling at the twins, “Okay. I’ll let you meet my friends-- your uncles. One of them has kids so you’ll have someone to play with.” Both Jongin and Jongdae screamed in joy that moment.

* * *

So, there was this one moment, maybe after two months, that he brought the twins in preschool and he and Baekhyun had met again in flesh. Yixing tries not to recall how Baekhyun was hurting that night he left him on his own in his pad. But the way the latter was looking at him was so full of hatred, and a hint of longing behind it. The forming tension between the adults were broke off when Jongin’s voice was heard. “Mr. Byun, why didn’t you tell us that you and daddy were friends in the past?” and the negative expression Baekhyun has on his face was completely replaced by a questionable one, mostly directed at Yixing. “Well, it was your father’s duty to spill such things,” He smiled at the younger boys. “Daddy also mentioned that you two were friends with Park Chanyeol! Is it true, Mr. Byun?” the other one exclaimed, grinning at the elder, it just made Baekhyun chuckle and nodded.

“Can we meet him?” both suggested, their eyes sparkling in excitement. “Since you two asked so nicely, I can make you meet, but does Yixing approve it?” He turned to the elder, tilting his head subtly. If there wasn’t even a heavy tension between them earlier, Yixing could have pulled him into a tight hug, as he looked so fucking cute and he just wanted to stare at the other for a little longer. But every moment has its end, when he felt a hand tugging the hem of his shirt, removing him completely from his thoughts. “Daddy?” Jongdae called out, already expecting an answer from the older. “A-ah, of course, they wanted it to meet you two, you know.” Yixing was defeated, sighing but he made sure it goes unnoticed, except by Baekhyun, who was just staring at him. “Hey, we should get inside, Jaehwan said that he’ll show us his dinosaurs! Bye daddy!!” Jongin yelled, grabbing his twin by the wrist and the both left, leaving the adults once more in the waiting area.

Yixing pulled out his phone and handed it to Baekhyun who was just staring at it blankly. But the other didn’t even get it. “You heard the kids, Hyuni—” “Don’t call me that anymore,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes and snatched the phone from Yixing and typed his contact in it. “I’m just doing this for the kids, be thankful.” He then thrusted the device at Yixing’s chest, whom he got it before it fell flat on the floor. “Thank you.” The elder muttered, Baekhyun scoffed, rolling his eyes and left Yixing alone.

“Well, that wasn’t so hard.” Yixing mumbled to himself, shrugging and went straight at uni after that obviously awkward exchange or words between them.

* * *

Yixing:

Hey, thank you so much for doing this for Jongin and Jongdae. 

(10:30AM) 

Baekhyun:

Lol. No prob. 

(12:30pm)

I contacted Yeol and Myeon. They said that they’re free

at the weekends.

(3:00PM).

Yixing:

Noted. Thank you.

(4:00PM)

Wanna go out for dinner?

(4:05PM) (Read)

* * *

“Of course, I would be left on read. What I was expecting?” Yixing snickered, head leaning at the wheel of his car, ignoring the pain forming at the back of his head _again_. Judging from how his kids were so fond of their preschool teacher, maybe this could be a sign that he’ll ask for an apology and maybe. Just maybe. They could start again. _Maybe, he can hand over the kids when he--, Ah, nevermind._ The kids won’t seem to mind having two—What was he even thinking. That’s impossible. Maybe he just really wanted to fix things with him before _that day_ comes. That’s all.

Back at home, Yixing had spilled the news to his kids that they will have their visit at one of their uncle’s house, since it was bigger and can accommodate more visitors than their small apartment. And as what he was expecting, they were so delighted and they even mentioned that they can’t wait at meeting them, especially Park Chanyeol.

The days went back to normal and it was Yixing who was sending the kids back at school, in hopes of seeing more of Baekhyun, who just keeps on ignoring him when the kids aren’t around.

* * *

Yixing forgot to ask for Junmyeon’s address, so he quickly texted Baekhyun that morning and it was a good thing that the younger quickly answered, the conversation last time was forgotten already.

Was it even good? Yixing can’t predict.

They arrived at Junmyeon’s house around lunch time. It was Joohyun who greeted them, a warm smile plastered on her face, the kids had their mouths open and kept on complementing that the lady who welcomed them is so beautiful. And the hanging mouth session didn’t stop as they stepped inside Junmyeon’s warm and elegant home. It was big, and the interiors scream Kim Junmyeon. Yixing decided that he’ll tease Junmyeon after some time.

At the end of the hall, there were already four people seated at the couch, two boys on the floor playing lego and a baby girl in a walker, travelling around the spacious room.

“Mr. Byun! Mr. Oh!” the kids called out in excitement and four men turned their head where the voices came from. Sehun smiled and opened his arms for the twins to engulf them with a hug. Meanwhile, Baekhyun was just staring at the kids, before at Yixing. “You made it.” The latter just smiled in return, not even knowing what to say. Junmyeon motioned Yixing to take a seat with them, which happens to be seated across Baekhyun at the couch. “You say hi to your Uncle Junmyeon.” Yixing commanded, and they turned at the super white man that can be mistaken as a vampire. “Hello, Uncle Junmyeon!” Jongin greeted in behalf of the other, both waving shyly at the man. “Jongdae-ah, Jongin-ah, maybe you forgot the other reason why you wanted to go,” Yixing had his hands pointing at Chanyeol who just grinned widely at the kids the moment they turned their attention at him. “Oh my God!” “We’re really seeing Park Chanyeol!!” The twins yelled and they quickly left Sehun’s arms and stood in front of the tall man, their eyes still wide at the sight of their favorite artist. “Hello.” Chanyeol greeted, waving with his big hand before ruffling the boys’ hair.

“We’re a fan of you!” Jongdae exclaimed, his arm circling around his brother’s shoulder, a huge smile suddenly plastered on their faces. “Woah, they seem to adore you so much, Yeol.” Junmyeon commented, that just made everyone laugh, “Even my Kyungie and Minnie. You’re not even _that_ handsome to begin with!” He added that made Chanyeol scowl at the elder. “Shut up, shortie, I’m being a role model to your kids!”

“Now stop fighting, act like adults now!” Baekhyun suddenly butt in, earning a loud scoff from Sehun. “Wow, coming from the one who ‘acts like an adult.’” There was just Yixing who just keeps on laughing from the childishness of his friends, “And you, Zhang Yixing! Act like an adult and stop laughing your ass— hmmm!!!” Baekhyun was unable to finish his words when Sehun covered his loud mouth, “Words, Byun. There are kids here!”

Yixing couldn’t even stop laughing his ass out.

Joohyun suddenly called up for lunch and they rushed to the table like hungry puppies.

After a few more catching up, Jongdae and Jongin were already playing with Minseok and Kyungsoo, and the adults continues to talk about life but they’re sober now. Since Yixing was unable to share another duty of his, he has revealed that even if he’s sometimes partaking in music production, he still wanted to receive the formal degree so he can work full-time as a producer at the entertainment company where Chanyeol is. Upon discovering, there was Baekhyun and Sehun, mostly Sehun, who’s offering to take care of the twins when he has classes at weekends.

Yixing, of course, hesitated, because it simply means that he’ll be meeting Baekhyun more often. ‘ _But isn’t this what you wanted, Yixing?’_ His mind scolded. He was truly giving mixed signals, at Yixing alone, Baekhyun was being so mean and another second, he’s being a softie and can sometimes joke around him and the kids. But maybe he’s just acting fine for the sake of the kids, and he just shows his real side at Yixing.

He had no choice but to agree, because he knows well that the twins will never allow him to say no at that offer, Yixing knows how persistent Jongin and Jongdae are. “You can bring them here too, Xing.” Junmyeon offered with a soft smile, the slightly younger man just nodded at that.

Yixing had also a soft spot for Junmyeon’s kids, he really likes Kyungsoo’s reserved nature, it just reminds him sometimes of Jongin, who was a bit reserved type. Also, at Minseok who quickly became so close with Jongdae, he giggles whenever he hears Jongdae teasing Minseok about his small eyes, and the other way around where Minseok teases Jongdae about the curls at the corner of his lips, making him look like a cat.

Of course, he wouldn’t forget about the youngest Sooyoung who was being carried by the most ethereal person he as ever met—Byun Baekhyun. He notices how he effortlessly handles the little girl in his arms, it sometimes made him imagine that Baekhyun could be a really great father ~~of his kids.~~

_“Wait, I shouldn’t be thinking about that nonsense.”_ Yixing mentally slapped himself and focused on eyeing his kids, not a certain someone.

* * *

_“How many kids do you want to adopt?” Yixing whispered, but it was enough for Baekhyun to hear as they share a very small space that separates them. The younger raised his head from Yixing’s shoulder, and oh he had missed his warmth already, he smiled and leaned once more, “Maybe two, then we’ll adopt two dogs as well.” Baekhyun muttered, shifting on his place so he can scoot closer (If that’s still possible) to Yixing who was just holding him a tight as he could._

_Yixing hummed in response, he would like that. He would like anything, as long as Baekhyun will be at his side always._

_“Then we’ll live in Greece, as you wish. Damn, I really love the idea itself, I can’t wait it to become a reality.” Yixing smiled, his gaze straight at the sunflower garden where they decided to have their simple picnic by the meadow._

_“I? you mean we. We’ll make it a reality, both of us.” Baekhyun replied and closed his eyes, solely enjoying the feeling of Yixing’s warmth radiating off him. “I love you.” He added, planting a small kiss on Yixing’s sensitive neck, that of course, made the latter squirm on is place. “Aiyo, what a menace.” Yixing looked down at Baekhyun and planted a deep peck on his lips, smiling. “I love you too, Hyunie.” He mumbled in his lips, closing his eyes, much enjoying the feeling._

* * *

“Zhang Yixing back to earth!!” A hard shake on the shoulder snapped him out of his flashbacks together with a loud and deep voice that was owned by a someone named Park Chanyeol. “Yah, you’re out of the universe again.” He rolled his eyes, smacking the elder’s head. “That’s just Yixing, Yeol. What do you expect?” There was Baekhyun, pointing out his blankness out of nowhere once more, laughing drily.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Yixing shoved Chanyeol out of his way, taking the guitar that was handed to him. “Wait, what are we doing?” He asked, looking at his friends. “Old times, jamming together?” Junmyeon suggested.

Oh, there were times back in high school, they will stop by the music room and jam together. Sometimes, it’s just their way of hanging out, Junmyeon and Baekhyun singing while Yixing and Chanyeol play guitar. There was also a time when it was just Baekhyun and Yixing will play music together, when it’s just the two of them. Baekhyun playing the piano then Yixing will play the guitar and they’ll sing their hearts out. “Ah, memories. We haven’t done this ever since Yixing left for Korea. It just feels incomplete without him.” Chanyeol went back on his place with his guitar, smiling. “It was nice we can do this again. Sehun, you should definitely join us again.” He added, his fingers strumming gently on the guitar as if he’s warming himself up.

Yixing got flustered at his friend’s thoughtfulness. It kind of made him guilty that he and Baekhyun hid their relationship for two years from them, and for leaving without any notice. They still made him feel belong despite of distancing himself over the years, for being the only Chinese in the group, and for being the only student left in their circle. “Ready?” Yixing had already positioned his guitar and started strumming. Baekhyun has already seated back at his place, the five kids on the floor, eyeing the adults for the mini show they’ll do in a few.

The rest of the day went on, with five boys singing their hearts out, sometimes having solo performances, duos, groups and the kids would clap and cheer at every ending. And it seems like the twins had fallen for their preschool teacher as they had cheered him so, so loudly when he sang so beautifully. Yixing would definitely lie if he said that he wasn’t amused with Baekhyun’s much improved vocals. He suddenly felt like eighteen again, but not. The way Baekhyun sang was so heartfelt, emotional and it always on point. It was making him fall in love with him again.

“You know, Baekhyun, I was still wondering why you became a preschool teacher when your greatest dream is to be a performer like Chanyeol, like everyone in the group knows it.” Yixing suddenly blurted out, silencing everyone, their eyes darted on Baekhyun who was frozen on his place. “U-uh, I don’t know, m-maybe change of dreams?” Baekhyun replied looking away, his voice wanting to fail him but he resisted. “Like you remember? You promised that we’ll do it together in the past, but you were gone, so, it would just be so unfair if I continued pursuing it without you ar—” “Ahh! Enough of that cheesy best-est friend stories!” Chanyeol rolled his eyes, throwing off a decorative pillow right straight to Baekhyun’s face, earning him a loud scowl from the latter. “Sometimes it makes me and Yeol think if we still belong or if you still recognize us when you’re together. You two are damn inseparable!” Junmyeon complained, a pout resting on his face. It looked damn ugly, Yixing was already making faces at the eldest, then he turned to Baekhyun, who was just staring back at him. 

“You’re ridiculous!” the former joked, but the other didn’t give a reply which made Yixing think that it had offended the other. “I mean, you can still pursue it. Like you’d be great, okay?” “Ah, I don’t know yet,” Baekhyun mumbled.

* * *

Even on their way back home, the twins could only mutter was Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun. They even asked a lot of things about the man, ever since they found out that they were ‘best friends’, there was one moment when Jongin requested to invite Baekhyun at their apartment when he’s free. Yixing couldn’t even make up excuses, but he knows in the end, he’ll concede because he can’t even say no at that their plea, and maybe for his own liking as well. 

Yixing had thought about his interaction with Baekhyun earlier. It is like they felt free, there was no tension, it was just like them back in high school days but there was Sehun plus they’re adults. So maybe, he took the chance to rebuild his friendship(relationship) with the younger, even for the short time.

* * *

Yixing:

Thank you so much for today, Baek. The twins are so happy

today

(10:15PM) 

Hyunie:

It was no problem, seeing the Jong twins delighted 

makes me delighted as well  😊

(10:18PM)

Yixing:

Yeah, anyway, the kids asked me if you’re free, then

maybe you could visit them here? 

(10:20PM)

I mean, well. 

(10:20PM)

My kids love you so much, ever since they found out that

we were friends back in high school they won’t stop

bothering me about you. Hehe. 

(10:22PM)

Hyunie:

Now, Zhang Yixing had the balls to invite me over?

(10:23PM)

I even offered earlier, remember? But I’ll be with Sehun.

(10:23PM)

Yixing: 

The twins would love that.  😊

(10:24)

Yixing: 

So about earlier. Did you really mean it?

(10:27PM)

Hyunie:

About what?

(10:28PM)

Yixing:

Our dream together.

(10:30PM)

Hyunie:

Ah, about that. Well you see…

(10:32PM)

* * *

Baekhyun and Yixing didn’t even stopped on exchanging messages that night. They kept on talking about the other details about their lives that they couldn’t just simply expose when everyone’s around. And it seems like they started catching up from all of the times they missed.

And even if it’s midnight, Yixing slept that night with a huge smile on his face and a warm, lightweight heart.

Ever since that overnight conversation between them that night, they could now notice that they’re already making up for the lost time. There were times that Baekhyun, just by himself, drops off Yixing’s apartment at weekends when the latter has classes on mornings. But there were moments that Yixing brings his kids at Baekhyun and Sehun’s apartment (Yixing just finds out that they share an apartment) before going to his part time. The twins were so pleased to spend their time with their preschool teacher/s, sometimes, he plays the piano, accompanied by Jongdae’s slightly slurred singing and Jongin’s messy dancing. Today must be one of the days Baekhyun will spend his time there, at Yixing’s.

Four knocks, accompanied by a call of soft call of “Hello?” was what Yixing heard from outside. He knows well enough that it was already Baekhyun. He must have notice that Baekhyun is spending most of his weekends with the kids. It’s that he is totally bothered about it, he actually didn’t mind seeing the younger build a relationship with his twins, he also thinks that the twins will be the way for them to fix what was once broken.

“You’re here.” Yixing bashfully smiled as he opens the door with his free hand, he just came out of the bathroom and he was currently drying his hair with a smaller towel, and a larger one covering his lower body. Yixing did notice how Baekhyun’s eyes went wide at the sight presented in front of him. He suddenly fought the urge to pin the younger against the wall and kiss him breathlessly. The latter coughed, quickly tearing his eyes off from temptation slash Zhang Yixing’s glorious body, only to receive a cackle from the other.

“Jesus Christ, Zhang Yixing, you should have dressed first before showing up!” Baekhyun exclaimed, walking pass through the former, quickly sitting at the couch, making himself feel at home, and again, Yixing didn’t really mind. “Why? Does it bother you, Byun Baekhyun?” There was a hint of smirk and smugness at the elder’s tone, Baekhyun could already tell. “You’ve seen my body multiple times, and you’re still acting like a teenage girl.” He added, containing himself from bursting out at the sight of Baekhyun’s cheeks getting flushed.

‘It always feels like the first time, dumbass.’ Baekhyun muttered under his breath, Yixing did hear but decided not to provoke the other anymore, “By the way, the kids are still asleep, should I wake them up?” He asked, only to receive a shake of the head. “I see, okay then. Make yourself feel comfortable, I made breakfast if you haven’t eaten yet.” Yixing smiled that fucking charming smile of his before he went inside their room to gather clothes.

Baekhyun did really make himself feel comfortable, he knew Yixing wouldn’t mind, as always. He launched himself at the small dining area and took some pancakes that Yixing made.

There were inevitable moments that Baekhyun imagine his domestic life with Yixing and his twins. He would wake up to an empty bed, but the space beside him was full in the scent of Yixing, he would sleepily wake up and walk over the kitchen only to see the other preparing breakfast for them, his back facing him, only in his boxer shorts and an apron hung loosely on his built.

He must have spent his minutes imagining—more like day dreaming, he didn’t notice that Yixing was already in clothes, waving his whole palm by his face. “Hey, you still there, buddy?” Yixing’s angelic voice called out, pushing Baekhyun out of his great, great bubble. “O-of course, You can see me, I’m no ghost.” The younger replied, shoving a half-eaten toast in his mouth. Yixing just rolled his eyes and chuckled, “Yeah, yeah. You’re spacing out a few moments ago.” “I’m not!” Baekhyun exclaimed, after finishing up the bread in his mouth.

“A little help, Baek.” and in a few, Baekhyun was already in front of him, fixing and rolling up Yixing’s sleeves up to the elbows. “What’s the occasion and you’re being dressed quite nicely?” Baekhyun paused and looked at the elder who was just staring at him fondly. “I’m not dressed nicely, this is my uniform at the café I’m working at.” Yixing replied, and that thought must have shocked the other, “You have another work?!” the elder just nodded, eyes fixated at Baekhyun’s loud mouth. “It’s not like everytime, I anonymously write and produce music with Chanyeol. And besides, you know I’m still studying and I have kids so I have to double up to pay for rent, our school and food.” All he could hear was Baekhyun sighing, before continuing rolling his sleeves up. “You never changed, you always over work yourself.”

Yixing gently pushed Baekhyun’s delicate hands off him, which startled the other, looking back. And in that moment, Yixing felt lost in a bottomless pit, more like a universe that was found in Baekhyun’s eyes. He felt like he was being sucked inside like how the blackhole sucks everything, he can’t escape. He doesn’t want to escape. Baekhyun was just there, staring back at him with the same intensity as his. None of them knew who was the one leaning in, but it seems like they are being brought together. Inches to a few centimeters, their breaths, they can feel it from their lips, their eyes closing at the same time, closer, clos—

“Good morning!!!” Jongdae’s loud voice rang throughout the area and both men were quick to pull apart, their cheeks reddened like tomatoes. Yixing was the one who left his place and strides towards Jongdae and picked him up in his arms, pressing a small kiss on his head. “Good morning, sunshine. Nini’s still asleep?” the youngster giggled and nodded. “Good morning, Mr. Byu—I mean, Baekhyun hyung!” Jongdae cheered upon seeing a familiar figure across the room. They had agreed to call him “hyung” when out of school premises, they didn’t want to give a wrong impression on other kids.

Yixing brought Jongdae down and checked his watch, he barely has an hour before his shift at Luhan’s. “I should get going now, Baek, Dae-ah. I’ll just go and bid goodbye at Nini.” He smiled and went to the bedroom, not even noticing Baekhyun was following behind, Jongdae sitting comfortably at his shoulders. Baekhyun can clearly see in Yixing that he is indeed the best dad for them, as what the twins proudly boasts about. Well, Yixing is a very qualified father that anyone can boast. Yixing leaned over and kissed Jongin’s forehead, bidding a soft bye at the sleeping child before grabbing his car keys and wallet. “Hey, I’ll get going now. Take care, you three.” He smiled and high-fived with Jongdae and left the unit in no time.

Baekhyun was going to lie if he admits that he’s not affected by Yixing’s actions from earlier. He wants it. But he thinks of the twins, and he knows that Yixing is hands-on when it comes to them, he didn’t want to burden him more. He just thinks it’s the best.

“You like daddy, don’t you?” A small voice above him startled him from his thoughts, and what the hell was the kid saying, he’s too young! “W-what are you talking about?” he looked up at Jongdae who was just giving him a teasing smile. “Nothing, hyung!” He blurted out, but Baekhyun was quick to put him down on the couch and attacked the child with tickles that made Jongdae jump, squirming his way out of Baekhyun’s hold. “Hyung—s-stop!!” Jongdae playfully begged in between his laughter. “I will, if you repeat that. Dae!” More laughter left Jongdae as Baekhyun continuously attacks him with tickles, “Okay, okay!! Y-you like daddy!” He shouted that made Baekhyun froze. “I knew it!” Another voice, much sleepier one, was heard from the doorstep of Yixing’s bedroom, Jongin, who was grinning while rubbing his eyes. “Baekhyun Hyung didn’t answer! So, it’s true!” Jongdae added, Jongin was running beside him and high-fiving with his twin. “I-I don’t!” Baekhyun released Jongdae and sat on the space beside him. His reddening cheeks tell otherwise. “Lying is bad, Hyung! Don’t worry, we won’t tell daddy!” Jongin reassured, went in between Baekhyun’s legs and hugged the elder.

“I don’t, aish!” Baekhyun declined once more but it seems like the twins will never acknowledge it anymore. Well, he’s damned now.

* * *

Christmas break came and the three guys decided to go back to China, as Yixing had already saved enough and there was Junmyeon who insisted that they should visit his hometown and even shoved money in his chest. Saying that it’s his Christmas gift for the three of them. He also gave extra so they can even visit Hongkong Disneyland whenever they want.

He can’t even say no, screw that persistent, damned rich man, Kim Junmyeon

But despite the distance for two weeks, Baekhyun and Yixing never stopped conversing about how their Christmas vacation went by. Yixing found out that Baekhyun went back to Bucheon to spend Christmas with his family and his beloved Mongryong. Sometimes the kids will force Yixing to Face Time with the other guy, since they miss him too.

“Wishing you were, hyung.” Jongin pouted, adjusting the Mickey Mouse headband on his head, whining at how it feels uncomfortable with it on. Yixing grabbed the headband and placed it correctly at the boy’s head. “There you go,” He whispered and got a mutter of thanks from the younger twin. “Hyung, I can’t wait to share Disneyland when we get back home!” Jongdae grinned, doing rollercoaster motions with his hand.

Baekhyun smiled through the camera, eagerly listening to the twins’ stories about Yixing’s hometown and stuff.

And there was Yixing, he was unseen in the camera, so he took his time staring at how Baekhyun freely interacts with his twins’. _“He’s the perfect one for Jongdae and Jongin soon.”_

* * *

New year came and things were running normally for everyone, except Yixing.

After his shift at the café, Yixing decided that he’ll pass by a hospital for a checkup (he left the area with a huge frown on his face), then at Chanyeol’s who’s in the middle of preparing for a comeback, and help him. Ever since that night months ago, Yixing was facing the taller guy and works with him for a few songs. He even suggested to release an album or a track that features their group (him, Baekhyun, Junmyeon and Sehun), but Yixing said that he’ll still think about it. He now prefers to work behind the scenes instead, he can’t even over work himself too much because of his condition. Now that he has grown weaker and weaker.

“So how are things going on with Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked upon they got settled by the small couch of his studio room in his apartment, serving green tea for the elder and chocolate for himself. Yixing was taken aback at the sudden interrogation, what should he say? Things are getting better with him? He doesn’t even know what state he and Baekhyun are at the moment. “We’re doing great now; he’s forgiven me for what happened at the past.” Is what his mouth blurted out instead. “I don’t mean about that, Xing. You think I wouldn’t have notice that you two are being suspiciously close now.” The younger replied back, taking a sip of his chocolate, eyeing Yixing as if he’s anticipating for an answer. “I sometimes ask him to hang out on weekends, but he always says that he’ll be at your place.” Chanyeol added, he leans on the couch and lifted his long legs on the coffee table in front of him. “It’s because he checks on my sons! You know he has a soft spot for children and the twins like him so much.” Yixing defended, but Chanyeol gets persistent, he wants the answer out of Yixing.

“I still don’t believe you.” Chanyeol simply replied, a small, unusual smile plastered on his face. “Come on, Xing. I saw you two that night. The longingness in both of your eyes. It reveals everything.” Yixing didn’t want to believe that, but the sincerity in the younger’s voice screams that he wasn’t even lying. “I don’t know, Yeol. I’m confused, okay?” Yixing sighed, looking away from the other.

“I don’t know if I’m already in content being in good terms with Baekhyun, since I already have my twins. Or not, and wanted to be with him or what.” Yixing confessed, Chanyeol just smiled. “You’ve been really selfless, Yixing hyung. Take care of yourself and your feelings as well. I’ve mentioned before that me and Baekhyun tried, but never worked out, right? It’s because there’s still a someone in his heart, and I assume that it’s you, hyung. I’ve tried connecting the pieces and this is what I came up with.” Yixing was shocked, more like mortified, he never thought that there will be a someone who will discover his past with Baekhyun. “Okay, okay, Baekhyun and I did date in the past, broke up because of me being a father to Song Qian’s child- now children. And Yeol-ah, I didn’t think I never stopped loving Baekhyun even once in my life.”

“As what I have concluded, your closeness in the past was way too intimate than the intimacy you two share with me and Junmyeon. I’m not mad, Hyung. Maybe Junmyeon will.” Chanyeol moved at the empty space beside Yixing and hung an arm on his shoulder. “Since when have you been too observant, Mr. Park?” Yixing laughed and leaned on his friend, his heart feeling even lighter than before.

“But I must admit something to him, and I guess to you and Junmyeon and Sehun as well.” There goes back the shooting pain near his nape, it was getting worse and worse. “I’m…” Yixing looked straight in Chanyeol’s eyes, who was looking as expectant as he is. “I’m dying.” He mumbled with a soft, broken voice. He hadn’t openly exposed his condition to anyone, except Taeyong. “Excuse me? What? I must have heard wrong, hyung. You’re what?” It seems like the whole thing was just processing yet in his friend’s brain. “I’m dying, Yeol. I have a brain tumor,” Yixing confessed, bringing a hand at his nape, “In here, it’s growing uncontrollably. A-and I’m in t-the terminal s-stage already, since the tumor keeps on spreading and it’s malignant.”

And for the first time in many, many years, he broke down, felt too vulnerable at that very moment. Chanyeol was quick to pull his friend in a tight hug, cradling the smaller one in his arms. Yixing, at that moment, felt so small, so weak. He didn’t cry at that moment when Song Qian died, but he was hurting a lot that time, the last time Yixing cried is when he had left Baekhyun alone, crying as well. “T-that’s why I was attempting to make things u-up with Baekhyun. T-to make t-the most of the time I-I have left a-and the kids. They would be p-pleased to be in h-his care once I-I’m gon—”

“Hyung, stop saying that!” And Park Chanyeol was crying as well, he tried so hard to be strong for the elder, but being the most soft-hearted human being in their circle, he broke down as well. “You’ll live, hyung.” He declared, but deep inside, Yixing won’t hold onto it.

It took a while for the two friends to calm down, Chanyeol was smiling sadly at his friend, and Yixing declared that he hated it when he looks at him like that. “You know what, let’s just work for now, this will be something that I will miss.” Yixing smiled widely, despite the swollen eyes and dried tears surrounding it.

The two, after that heartfelt conversation, started working on the lyrics and music, and recording for Chanyeol’s upcoming album, not even noticing that it was already getting dark outside, and they could just laugh because they had become so productive and they finished all of the lyrics for Chanyeol. Time really goes unnoticed when you’re doing the things that you really like the most.

Chanyeol had offered dinner, but the elder declined and mentioned the twins at home. “Take care always, hyung. Don’t hesitate calling me when this,” Chanyeol pointed his head, pertaining to the frequent dizziness the other’s experiencing, ”...acted up again, okay? And I hope you’ll get brave enough to admit things to Baekhyun.” Yixing nodded and left before it gets too late, he got a little lazy so he’ll just order dinner on his way home.

And at home, he wasn’t greeted by loud bickering of Baekhyun and the twins, but instead, a melodious singing voice accompanied by the keys of the piano. It was the first time in a long time that he had witness Baekhyun played the piano while singing his heart out. Carefully kicking his shoes by the doorstep, he sneaked in and Baekhyun’s voice was getting louder and clearer. Yixing fell in love again upon seeing Byun Baekhyun by the piano, his eyes closed as his lips continuously releases lyrics in the most heartfelt way. It’s like he’s always telling a story through his singing. The twins were sitting on his sides, so he was sandwiched between them.

Baekhyun didn’t even acknowledge Yixing’s presence, but the kids did as they waved silently at their father, a soft smile grazed on their features. A few more notes, he was approaching the end of his song, and there was always a small, soft smile on his face every time he finishes, he never changed too. He looked at the twins, but they weren’t looking back at him, following their sight, he was entranced by the way Yixing was staring at him. “O-oh, you’re already here. Since when?” Baekhyun quickly scrambled off the seat and closed the piano, a nervous smile replacing his once softer ones.

“Not long enough. And that was good you never changed as well, Baek.” Yixing brought over the food he brought at the table and sets them up. They happily had dinner, and Yixing secretly stares at Baekhyun who was happily feeding the twins alternatively. Everything felt so domestic, he wishes that it will last for a very long time. But who is he lying? He has barely a year left to live, as what the doctor had concluded.

It just saddens him that he will not be able to witness how his twins will grow up like fine men, their graduations, them getting married with their partners. He just makes sure to cherish every single moment and live up to the fullest, so he’ll not regret anything.

Yixing felt tears forming on his eyes, he wanted to cry, he wanted to beg for the heavens to extend his life, but he can’t be weak in front of his sons, and even at Baekhyun. Before his eyes started betraying him, he excused himself to the bathroom, slapping himself as his voice trembled earlier. He washed his face and stared at his own reflection, not even bothering to dry himself off. He felt like vomiting but he can’t bring himself to.

It must have taken him long enough, when he heard knocks on the door. Yixing quickly wiped his face and turned the doorknob. Maybe it’s one of the twins who will take a potty, but as soon as the door opened, he was greeted by a bigger figure- Baekhyun.

“Yixing.”

“O-oh, are you going to use the comfort room?” Yixing asked, not even looking directly at the younger’s eyes. He received nothing in reply. Only silence accompanied by Baekhyun’s presence.

Silence, more silence. It was making him uneasy. Yixing turned to meet the other’s eyes.

“You’re crying. What’s wrong?” Baekhyun asked, concern lacing in his voice. The way he eyes the other was already out of his comfort, but he needs to do it in order for the elder to spill something. “I-I’m not, what are you talking a-about?” and there goes his voice betraying himself. “You’ve been honest with me ever since high school, Xing. You can’t lie now, since your voice is trembling like fuck.” He rolled his eyes, bringing his arms together, as if he’s anticipating a truthful answer from the other.

“I— Uhh— I c-can’t tell you right now.” Yixing mumbled, breaking his gaze with the other. “B-but soon, I promise. Let’s just drop this, please.” He pleaded, reaching out for Baekhyun’s hands, whom automatically flinched and Yixing was quick to retract his own and placed them inside his pocket. “W-whatever you say, Xing.” Baekhyun replied, looking away as well. “Y-You should finish eating now, the kids were done and gathered up their pajamas so they’ll take a half-bath a little later.” “Yeah, thanks, Baek. I mean it.” Yixing weakly smiled and went back to his now cold food at the table, almost stumbling down on his way but he was quick to balance himself.

Ever since he found out that he’s already terminal, he felt weaker and hopeless. He shouldn’t have gone to the doctor earlier. Yixing was totally regretting everything.

He sat on his place from earlier and continued eating his food, stealing glances at Baekhyun who’s now watching the kids who were now inside the bathroom, bathing. How come he didn’t notice the two get inside? He, himself, didn’t even know. “You could stay in for the night, if you want.” The elder suggested, and Baekhyun was quick to turn at the former. Yixing half-hopes that he agrees, and half- hoping he doesn’t. Yes, because he’ll get to see more of Baekhyun lurking around his apartment and no, because he thinks the younger might provoke him to tell everything he has to tell.

“Stay in, hyung!” And there goes the twins’ whining ang giggling. Baekhyun, then, turned at the twins and smiled. “If it’s okay.” He replied, Yixing hummed back. “I’ll just fetch some clothes for you once I finish.” He added, before turning back at his food.

Silence— but not total silence, the twins can still be heard faintly from his place, but there were no words that left between Yixing and Baekhyun’s mouths. it felt too awkward for Yixing. He shook his head at the thought and stood up to finish the dishes, but unfortunately, his hand betrayed him, as well, he lost control of his muscles and bang Loud shattering noises filled the deafening silence of the apartment. Yixing just stood there, his mind still processing what happened, his eyes widening at the broken plate in front of him. He hears Baekhyun’s “Stay, I’ll be back,” to the twins in the bathroom and quickly rushed over to Yixing. “What happene— Oh no, you don’t. Stop right there, Yixing!” Baekhyun scolded the said name who was about to pick up the shattered ceramic on the floor, he well knows enough that the elder has a mild case of hemophilia, so he doesn’t want to risk letting Yixing gather the broken plate and slash a small cut. “Let me do that.” He added and he collected the broken pieces with his bare hands carefully. “What has gotten with you, Xing?” Baekhyun, with his non-stop talking, “You were acting weird ever since you got back from your work.” The breaking of his voice was noticed by Yixing. “I-I’m fine, Baek. You don’t have to worry about me.” The elder stepped back as Baekhyun passes in front of him with the shards, disposing them.

“I really don’t believe you anymore!” Baekhyun glared at him, half-yelling at the elder, who flinched at the harshness of his tone. “Why are you lying to me this time? Not just once, Xing. Twice!” And he was that mad at him now. All he can provide was silence as he doesn’t even know how to respond to the younger man, he just stares at him, looking all defeated.

“Tell me if you’re not feeling well, this is what you get for over working yourself again. I’ll ask Sehun to take the twins and I’ll stay with you.” Yixing shook his head, his eyes just darted at Baekhyun, and now he’s slapping himself for letting go of this chance to be alone with the other. He suddenly felt the familiar pain on his head, his world spinning around and his sight darkening, the last thing he saw was Baekhyun’s face filled with worry. If it wasn’t for the arms that caught him, Yixing would have fell to the floor, face flat.

* * *

Eyes slowly opening, all he can see was blurry ceiling, he squinted his eyes as he gets used to the view. A hand squeezing his own brought him back to his place, and _oh_ he was already in his bed, and the hand holding him was none other than Byun Baekhyun’s, who was sleeping soundly with his head laying on his free arm. He was seated at the chair that was placed beside his bed. He mentally scolds Baekhyun for sleeping in such uncomfortable position.

Yixing notices that his children wasn’t beside him, he wanted to check out, but he might wake the younger in his sleep. But his mind screams, “whatever” because if he wakes Baekhyun or not, he won’t let him stay at this position.

He slowly removes Baekhyun’s grip on his hand, whining at the loss of contact, ignoring the dull pain above his nape, standing and walking over at the younger’s place and carried him to his bed, pulling the blanket to his shoulders. He admires his sleeping, peaceful state and then sees Baekhyun slowly stirring up from his sleep, his eyes widening upon seeing Yixing swapped places with him. “What the? Why am I here? Yixing, what the hell? You almost killed me from worry when you fainted earlier!” the younger stood up and shook Yixing’s shoulder. But instead of giving a proper reply about his condition, “Where’s Jongin and Jongdae?” is what his mouth spilled. Baekhyun could just look at him unbelievably. “For fucks sake, Zhang Yixing, think about yourself first! You don’t want your kids to constantly worry about you!” Baekhyun just glared at Yixing, and the latter doesn’t even speak, he was waiting for Baekhyun to spill his children’s whereabouts.

Baekhyun sighed, “I had Sehun to take them for the night, I also packed them their uniforms, he’ll bring the twins over at school tomorrow, more like later morning.” There was a silence, Yixing looks at the alarm clock at his night stand, it reads 1:00am. He passed out for almost 5 hours?

“I’m sorry,” Yixing bit his lip, thinking of the words to be used carefully. “You got too worried and sorry for being a… Uh.. burden.” He finishes his sentence, only to hear a scowl from the other. “Can’t you just lay down and fucking rest, Xing? I think I’m growing grey because of your stubborn ass!” Baekhyun hissed and at these moments, he’s getting terrifying, Yixing just complies, laying on the bed, saving up space for the younger to lay down as well. “What?” “You should sleep you, Baekhyunee.” Yixing smiled lightly, patting the space beside him. “Whatever, Zhang. I’ll just take the couch. Good mornight to you.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes, but he yelped upon feeling himself being dragged backwards, his back hitting the mattress, then Yixing’s chest, and his smaller frame being engulfed by Yixing’s strong arms. “Stay.” Yixing whispered softly against his ear, eyes slowly closing and a small smile painted on his face.

Baekhyun was left with no choice, because even if he’s struggling for him to release him, he can’t escape Yixing’s arms. He shivers upon feeling Yixing’s hot breath kissing his nape, and his heart. His poor heart thumping uncontrollably on his chest, he’s afraid Yixing might hear.

“I’m glad that I’m not the only one who wants this.” Yixing mumbled sleepily before drifting off, and Baekhyun scolds himself for agreeing at Yixing’s words.

* * *

Yixing woke up feeling tad better and it seems like he really had a nice sleep having Baekhyun beside him, it just makes him forget of his sickness that will slowly devour him and his sanity up. It was a good thing that their professor cancelled their classes in order for them to work for their final thesis in music production. Well, they just have to create 5 compositions and perform it in class. And also, to put them in a disc to be passed. That’s just it. Once they completed it, they’ll be qualified and be a candidate for graduation.

He looks at the younger whose head is laying on his extended, numbing (but he doesn’t really mind) arm, giving him a perfect view of his sleeping self. He can tell Baekhyun is also having a good time sleep, there was a little smile on his face, he was never wrong that the other wanted this as well.

Hoping, he’ll have the courage to tell the truth to Baekhyun. Soon.

Watching Baekhyun sleep was such a sight, he examines every single detail of Baekhyun’s face. He’s just afraid that this moment might not happen ever again, so make the most of it, right? His downturned closed eyes, lashes that gently kisses his chubby cheeks, the button nose he loves to bop way back high school, the moles and blemishes— but still ethereal in Yixing’s view. Baekhyun’s imperfections is what makes him more beautiful, more endearing. And yes, those slightly parted lips, looking so pink and Yixing fights the urge to kiss him.

His mind wasn’t able to process the next scenarios, when the man beside him suddenly rolled on top of him, capturing his lips sleepily and hungrily. Yixing’s eyes went wide, he tries pushing Baekhyun off him, but the younger’s hands were on his cheeks, steadying him in his place. His heart was thumping hard on his chest, even wanting to jump out, because he can’t even believe that this is really happening.

Slowly closing his eyes, he lets himself get drowned by Baekhyun’s lips. He tastes cherries and mostly, sleep. But as if Yixing minds, right? Their lips danced gracefully with each other, accompanied by the soft sighs escaping their mouths. He positions his hands at Baekhyun’s sides, slipping his hands inside his shirt, feeling the skin that made Baekhyun shiver from his place. And Yixing loves it. It felt like he was brought back in their high school days, except that this is already the present.

Soon enough, they pulled back to breathe, Baekhyun resting his forehead against Yixing’s and they stared at each other, their gazes longing and fond. “Xingie.” Baekhyun whispered out, a small tear attempting to fall down, but Yixing was fast to wipe it, smiling gently at the younger. “I don’t know if this is still right, but my heart is still yearning for you, even for the past seven years, it’s still you. The moment I saw you, my walls fell down apart, and even if I tried building them up again, it always breaks when you’re around. You have children, I love them like my own too, I don’t know what to do now—.”

Yixing claimed Baekhyun’s lips this time, and in no time, they find themselves in a much different, yet very familiar position, with Baekhyun’s arms wrapped around his neck, holding him tightly, Yixing just wishes that he wasn’t sick in the first place. He wants to cherish and make up for the lost time with Baekhyun, as well as granting the dreams they wanted back in the past, but he can’t. Kissing Baekhyun was making him feel euphoric, heavenly, and oh how he missed being so close to him. 

They got so worked up, and in no time their clothes were already on the floor, their skins having contact felt so amazing, Yixing broke off their kiss as he stared at Baekhyun with full of lust, a teasing smile plastered on his face.

“X-Xing, please.” Baekhyun whimpered, his hands gripping Yixing’s shoulder blades, still making sure he wouldn’t create scratches along the elder’s back. It wouldn’t be too nice for that. Yixing’s kisses trailing along his neck and collarbone was making him sensitive all over. It has been really a while. Since someone had touched him with so much care. And that while was actually 7 years ago, with the man on top of him.

“Please what, love? You know I want words.” Yixing mumbled, his tongue playing with one of Baekhyun’s nipples, sucking eagerly as if he wanted to gather milk from there. He didn’t receive any coherent response, but whines small cries. “I-I… I want you t-to touch me p-please, babe.” Baekhyun whispered, his breath hitching upon feeling Yixing’s hand went south and palmed his boxer shorts. He was hard already, and he still can’t believe that they’re doing this right now.

“You’re hard already, baby?” Yixing pulled back and his mouth almost dropped at the view of Baekhyun looking so submissive and pliant underneath him, his hair sticking out in different directions, his eyes shut and his chest now filled with the little love bites Yixing had left him. He always looks so ethereal no matter what. “Fuck, Baek… Why are you so goddamn perfect, baby?”

The smaller man stared back innocently at him, but fuck, it looks so pure that Yixing just wanted to take him right away. “I’m far from it, Yixing. What are you talking about?” Baekhyun scoffed, and that once innocent expression was quickly wiped out when Yixing grounded his hardening crotch against Baekhyun. _Oh, Fuck._ “What were you saying again?” He smirked, feeling victorious upon knowing he still has _that_ effect on Baekhyun. “When I said you’re perfect. You are.”

“Whatever, Xing… Just touch me!” And Yixing didn’t waste any chance and his hand quickly slipped inside his underwear and stroked Baekhyun’s cock into full hardness, pre-come dribbling endlessly at each stroke. Baekhyun could just cling into Yixing like a koala, his moans sounding so fucked up even if they hadn’t reached that part yet. Yixing wanted to tire this man up.

“O-oh my g-god, m-more, please!!” Baekhyun was already thrusting against Yixing’s hand when the latter suddenly pulled his hand back, a loud groan was what he earned from Baekhyun. “Y-you know what, Fuck you, Zhang!”

“Nah- Uh.. You’ll not fuck me, baby. Maybe next time, hm?” Yixing laughed like the biggest tease he is. Baekhyun hissed and quickly flipped their positions, straddling directly above Yixing’s clothed dick and he _slowly_ ground his ass against it. It was _excruciatingly slow_ Yixing wanted to flip the younger back in his position, but Baekhyun is the biggest shit he knew, he loves him anyway, still. Baekhyun bounced himself as if he’s already riding Yixing’s girth and he’s totally loving how he’s having control whenever Yixing attempts reaching out to him, he would slap the other’s hand away. The younger’s seductive noises were doing nothing good to him, it always makes him edged, his blood rushing to his face and straight down his cock. “B-baekhyun, I-I’m gonna—”

And Baekhyun suddenly halted his movements and just fucking rolled his hips, that smug smile never leaving his lips. “No one’s cumming, baby. We’ll do it together, eo?” Baekhyun wanted to laugh upon seeing Yixing rolling his eyes at his statement before he crawled down and removed the damp underwear of the elder. “I want to ride you.” Baekhyun admitted straight to the point and he could see the twitch in between Yixing’s legs. He must have wanted the idea too.

Yixing just stared at Baekhyun, his full lower lip trapped in between his lip, and it was already a sight for Baekhyun. He thinks Yixing is damned hot when he does that, little did he know that Yixing was attempting to hide the forming pain on his head. He wanted Baekhyun so much, but he won’t let his head be a cock-block.

Baekhyun removed his own boxers and Yixing was quick enough to reach for Baekhyun’s cock and stroked it once more. It was pulsating under his palms and it felt so fucking good. Yixing collected his oozing fluids and he could literally feel Baekhyun shiver as soon as he spoke with his deep and sexy voice. “Turn around, baby. I wanna see you.” In which Baekhyun complied.

Yixing sat up and he couldn’t take his eyes off Baekhyun’s ass. It will always be one of his most favorite things in the world. He pulled the younger by the waist, wrapping one arm securely and brought the round globes closer to his face, placing wet kisses along the smooth curves and there goes his favorite music filling his bedroom again, Baekhyun’s delicious moans. “Baby, you’re so beautiful.” Yixing whispered as his fingers graze Baekhyun’s folds, purposely avoiding the beautiful hole residing in between. He was quick to dive himself in to heavens, also known as, Baekhyun’s ass, his nose rubbing the soft flesh and his tongue licking desperately his entrance, and Baekhyun lost control of his arms and his face fell flat against the mattress, whimpers and praises of Yixing’s mouth left his mouth. “Y-yes, Yixing, oh my god, fuck me, y-yes. _Oh._ ”

It didn’t take longer when Yixing’s slicked finger joined his tongue in stimulating the pliant younger in his arms. Baekhyun tensed but it didn’t take long enough when Yixing’s finger was thrusting along with his tongue. Baekhyun’s noises filled the room and Yixing wanted to hear more, adding another finger and scissoring its way to Baekhyun’s prostate and it just made the younger jolt on his place, pushing himself more on Yixing’s fingers. “Beautiful, my beautiful Baekhyun.” Yixing praised, loving how Baekhyun’s ass eats his fingers in, Baekhyun could just grip on the sheets underneath him and he moans at how good Yixing could still control him.

Baekhyun almost screamed at the third finger prodding to join the first two, he knows Yixing is just preparing him for his huge cock, it sounded so painful Yixing almost stopped but only to receive a slap on the thigh. “D-don’t stop, for fucks sake!” Baekhyun demanded and Yixing could just comply, Baekhyun is still the masochist shit he is. Always wanting to feel the pain before enjoying the pleasure that soon will come.

And his prostate was stimulated dead-on. Baekhyun was trying so hard not to cum, with now Yixing’s hand gripping the base of the younger’s cock preventing him from having a release while he’s indulging himself at Baekhyun’s noises. “Y-Yixing, I’m g-going to fucking c-cum—” the said name released his fingers out and quickly stroked Baekhyun’s cock until he could feel hot seeds messing his hands. “Yes, Baby, cum for me. You look so perfect, my baby.” Yixing praised, his lips grazing Baekhyun’s ass while the latter rides out his very first orgasm of the night, his voice screeching and Yixing’s name was chanted like a prayer.

Yixing, with his full strength, pulled Baekhyun back on top of him, his chest against the younger’s back. “You want to ride me, but let me fuck you like this, babe.” He whispered, kissing Baekhyun’s shoulder. He can picture out Baekhyun’s blissed out expression even at the side view. Must be perfect. Baekhyun could just whine in response.

Baekhyun’s hands went in between his legs and reached out for Yixing’s erection that was poking his ass and he lifted himself as he positions the elder’s cock against his hole. Age could truly make things improved. Yixing has gotten bigger and Baekhyun was totally amused how such glorious cock could fit him. “S-shit, you’ve gotten bigger, d-daddy…” It took Baekhyun for a while to realize he has called Yixing ‘daddy’ where in fact, he’s really a father already.

“Daddy, huh? I wanna hear more, baby boy.” Yixing growled upon letting the fact sink in that Baekhyun was wrapping his cock with his very tight heat, his hips bucked upon feeling Baekhyun’s ass against his hips. “O-Oh my god, s-so deep, daddy…” Baekhyun was blissed and his mouth dropped at the slow drag of Yixing’s flesh against his entrance. It felt so fucking good and amazing that they felt like one again.

“M-move, I want to f-feel pain.” Baekhyun’s voice raised a pitch and Yixing could just rub soothing circles against Baekhyun’s thigh. He knows too well that Yixing won’t say no at his demands. He propped his legs, grabbing Baekhyun’s thighs and he moved too fast, punishing, as what Baekhyun always liked. He could hear the painful cries from the man above him but he didn’t show signs of stopping. “Y-yes, yes!! Yixing, f-fuck!~” The younger shouted, it was so painful but he knew the pleasure he’ll receive later on will be so worth it. 

Yixing made sure he’s always balls deep at every thrust, earning a loud moan and a jolt from Baekhyun whenever he hits that spot that made the latter sound so helpless but so damn addicting in his ears.

It didn’t even take too long when Baekhyun’s cries turned into sounds of pure bliss, and Yixing swore, he wanted to hear more, so he reached out on Baekhyun’s chest and toyed one of his nipples and he was right. “T-touch me, y-yes!!”

“Baekhyun, you’re just so perfect. I want to fuck you until you tire out, my perfect love.” Yixing whispered directly on Baekhyun’s ear when he adjusted his position slightly and he was already meeting Yixing’s thrusts with his sharp falls.

Soon enough, Yixing suddenly pulled out of Baekhyun and made the latter lie down, throwing the younger’s legs over his shoulders and made his second entrance and Yixing could just drown at the beautiful sight underneath him. Baekhyun looked so blissed and the way his eyebrows meet and his mouth fell open as endless moans left it. Baekhyun wrapped his arms back on Yixing’s neck and the elder thrusts in an animalistic pace until he could feel his orgasm approaching. He knows Baekhyun is close too as he was clenching too tight against Yixing’s girth.

“B-babe, I’m so close...” Yixing whispered, before claiming the younger’s lips, sharing a very messy kiss as he grinds his hips sexily against the other. “U-uh, B-baek.. F-fuck… _Ohh..”_ Baekhyun screamed as he spilled more of his semen, messing his own chest, whimpering upon feeling Yixing’s love spilling deep inside him. Yixing fell on top of Baekhyun and smiled, despite the pain on his head that he continues ignoring. “I love you, Baek. So much.”

* * *

They maybe had two rounds more of love-making, Baekhyun and Yixing never felt so full and so satisfied for the last seven years. Both are laying down on the bed, wrapped in each other’s arms despite of the stickiness and sweat in their bodies, they never mind as long as they’re together. Baekhyun with his head laid on Yixing’s chest, the sound of the other man’s heart beat was calming his nerves. “So, are we back together now, Xingie?” the younger mumbled, his head raising to meet Yixing’s eyes, but the latter had his eyes fixed on the ceiling, he tensed for a moment that Baekhyun was able to notice it. But it was just his head spinning and his nape was being a distraction to their aftermath cuddling.

“W-we can, b-but I- I must—“ Yixing closed his eyes for a moment as the pain was slowly increasing in his head, so excruciating and it was getting unbearable every time. Baekhyun noticed the other’s discomfort and he quickly sat up and checked on him, “P-please, meds… at the nightstand.” Yixing mumbled, and the younger was quick to comply, but he was stunned at the uncountable amount of medicine inside his nightstand. “Y-yixing…” Baekhyun whispered, but all he got was a “hurry” in response, so he pushed his thoughts aside, standing up and putting on his boxers to grab water for the other.

“H-here…” Baekhyun was already panicking, but he knows he must stay calm for the other. Yixing swallowed the medicine and he must have felt ease after a few minutes. There was this uncomfortable silence that was making the room suffocating, “I’m sorry.” Yixing started off, his eyes anywhere except Baekhyun’s, he doesn’t know how to explain things well. “It’s just headache, it happens every morning, tho.” He lied, but partly true. Baekhyun just squinted his eyes at the other male. “You’re lying, but okay, I won’t push you. Only if you’re ready.” He replied, a small smile on his face as he cupped Yixing’s cheeks, leaning closer to press a chaste kiss on the other. “I missed you, Xingie.” Baekhyun whispered against the other’s lips, and Yixing could just smile back at the other male.

They rested for a few more hours, good thing Yixing only has to take care of his music project and Baekhyun decided that he’ll take a day-leave so he can take care of Yixing. They laid on the bed once more, Baekhyun spooning Yixing from behind, he had really missed being this close to his one and only, he wishes that this moment will last forever. “Baekhyun-ah…” Yixing whispered, so soft that only the other male can hear, despite of the quietness of the morning. The other male replied with a hum and it was a sign for the elder to continue. “Will you promise to stay… with me, until my last breath?” Yixing implied, but of course, Baekhyun was unable to catch it. “What are you talking about? Of course, I’ll be with you! I’m really glad that we’ll be able to continue our dreams that was paused by the past.” Yixing just stayed silent and drifted to sleep, knowing that Baekhyun will follow not long after.

* * *

The days and preceeding went normal to everyone, except for the constant and timely headaches Yixing is experiencing, although the tumor in his head can be removable, he doesn’t have any money to undergo surgery. He doesn’t want to borrow money from Junmyeon just for his own. He can’t. The tumor might be removed, but there are instances that the surgery might not result well. Yixing decided that he’ll just make the most of his time left.

Another week has passed and Baekhyun was a resident in Yixing’s apartment, the latter didn’t come for work as he was doing his music composition for his final requirement in university. And there was the younger playing with the twins and sometimes, he’s helping the other when he needs someone to sing his music.

Even though there were the twins in one room with them, the constant glances and fond staring at each other never stops, as if the pair of 4-year olds will notice, or maybe not.

“Baekhyun hyung…” Jongdae whispered, nudging Baekhyun with his tiny elbow. “If you like our daddy, just go and confess! You have been looking at him with those heart eyes, just like how Uncle Junmyeon looks at Aunt Joohyun.” He added, and there was a small laugh at his other side, Jongin. “Don’t worry, hyung. We won’t have anyone as our other daddy, except you.” He grinned and Baekhyun could just stare dumbly at the twins. Wow, they’re just very observant, and Baekhyun didn’t notice that.

“Now, what are you talking about, three?” Yixing glanced over the piano and the twins just giggled in response, both poking Baekhyun’s sides that instantly made the young man flinch on his place, “T-this is totally nothing! I-I am jus— Jongdae!!” Baekhyun yelled playfully once Jongdae poked his side again, glaring at him but it doesn’t seem to affect the child. “Y-yah!” Baekhyun pouted and all he can hear not long after was Yixing’s hilarious laugh, followed by the twins’ laughter. “Ah, these three Zhangs are so insufferable!” Baekhyun facepalmed.

After Yixing finished a piece of his music, he was about to stand up from his seat when his legs betrayed him out of nowhere. The sounds of the pressed keys filled the four corners, and the three suddenly looked at Yixing who was now struggling to stand up, but ended up failing. Baekhyun’s eyes went wide and quickly went over at the elder and tried helping him to stand but to no avail. “B-baek, I c-can’t move my legs anymore…” Yixing wanted to cry, but he held it in. Yixing sat still on his place and he looked over at the twins who was looking at him with full of worry, Jongin was about to cry and Jongdae was just hugging him, comforting his twin. “C-can you bring them t-to Ahyoung?” Baek complied and he went over the twins and left the apartment unit.

Baekhyun returned after ten minutes, and he could just see Yixing covering himself up, the piano closed and his elbow was leaning at the cover, he could hear sobs, and it was breaking Baekhyun’s heart. He couldn’t bear seeing the love of his life being like this.

“Baekhyun-ah…” Yixing’s voice was trembling, it sounded so weak and vulnerable, this is not a Yixing thing, and Baekhyun was so confused. “Could you bring me to the hospital?” Was his request. Baekhyun wanted to ask why, for what purpose, but he clearly knows Yixing won’t spill anything, so he nodded, grabbed Yixing’s car key sat the kitchen island and squatting down so he could give Yixing a piggy back ride.

There was no exchange of words between them, but Baekhyun could just head the small sighs escaping the other’s lips as they walked down the empty hallway, approaching the elevator.

The car ride was silent, Yixing, in the passenger’s seat, his eyes fixated on Baekhyun while the latter was driving for them. “I know I’m staring too much, but please just let me. Don’t melt into a puddle of feels, okay?” Yixing tried to joke, but it was no use, he received a silent treatment from the other who was just focused on driving, Yixing could just sigh the umpteenth time.

He reached out for his phone in his pocket, dialed some number and placed the phone on his ear. “Junmyeon-ah…” He started when the other answered, and at the same time, traffic lights went red and Baekhyun was able to look at the elder beside him. “Come to the hospital, please? Bring Chanyeol and Sehun with you. I’ll just send the address. Thank you.” He quickly cut the call, before he could receive a verbal response from Junmyeon.

“I’m confused, Xing. Can you tell me what’s going on?” Baekhyun had his eyes back on the road, and continues their trip to the hospital. “You’ll know, once we get there, baby. I’m sorry.” Yixing apologized, taking Baekhyun’s free hand and pressed a kiss at the back of it, but it seems like his brain betrayed him when he suddenly lost his grip on the younger’s hand, letting it fall on his lap. ‘Fuck, this is getting out of hand now.’ Yixing thought.

As soon as they reached the hospital, Baekhyun carried Yixing on his back once more and when they entered and went straight at the reception area, the nurse automatically greeted him, asking about his condition, and this time, Yixing replied truthfully. Baekhyun was taken aback at the knowledge he received, almost dropping the elder man on his back and just sob, but he can’t.

Soon enough, they’re inside a room, there was IV connected on Yixing, who was just smiling weakly at Baekhyun. “Since when, Xing?” Baekhyun sat on a chair beside the bed, his hand gripping on Yixing’s. “Two years ago. And the shit’s growing unstoppably already.” He admitted, and there were uncontrollable tears escaped Baekhyun. He rarely cries, and it is just a sign that Baekhyun was genuinely hurt by the revelation. “Is this t-the reason of your constant headaches, your imbalance moments, and the fatigue? Yixing, you’re dying and y-you just chose to tell me now?” “This is w-what I wanted to tell you b-before we get b-back together. I d-don’t want you to get involved w-with a man with kids, and on top of that, d-dying already. Baekhyun, y-you deserve better t-than thi—” “Shut up, Xing! Can’t you see that I love you so much? I’ve waited long enough for you! I always prayed for a second chance and fuck it was being served in front of me, and you’re expecting me to say I deserve better than this?” Baekhyun wanted to hug Yixing, want him to feel his love, to tend him until his last breath, as what he promised. This was so much pain, but if it’s for Yixing, Baekhyun is willing to endure it all. “Why would I look for someone better if I already have the best one?” And oh, Yixing couldn’t take it anymore, he was already sobbing mess and Baekhyun was encouraged to hug Yixing, wanting the elder guy to calm down. Baekhyun’s words was doing so much on him, he felt it so much, Yixing felt so loved, even though at most days, he felt secluded and alone.

Baekhyun pulled back and stared at Yixing, who was just looking back with fresh tears pooling in his precious eyes, he leaned in and kissed the elder man softly but with a strong passion that no one could ever reach. Their lips molded perfectly as well as their tongues. Yixing reached for Baekhyun’s arm and brought the younger even closer. He wanted to feel Baekhyun’s lips on his own, he never wanted to let go, but a series of coughs distracted and made them pull back, their cheeks turning bright red at the sight of Chanyeol and Sehun by the door frame, and a terrified Junmyeon behind them. Of course, as expected from the only straight guy in the circle, but he respects them nonetheless. “I knew I was right,” Junmyeon mumbled, smiling at the second eldest sadly. Chanyeol must have told him the news.

“I’ll be starting my treatment by next week, and I want you all to come visit me at my schedules when you’re free. And Chanyeol-ah. Can we record soonest? I mean, the five of us, for his album.” Yixing requested, giving hopeful eyes, especially at Baekhyun whom he knew, he was having a little hard time to please. “We finished the lyrics of our song last week, tho. Our voices are what we need left.” Chanyeol went to sit at Yixing’s bed, patting the man’s shoulder gently.

“I’m up for it.” Sehun responded, followed by Junmyeon’s “I’m in.” And the four of them were just looking at Baekhyun, waiting for his response. Baekhyun knows that he lost already so he just gave in and muttered a fine. Yixing was just delighted and pulled Baekhyun in a soft kiss and the other three could just groan in disgust.

Baekhyun had contacted Ahyoung about Yixing’s condition and even pleaded to look out for the twins while they’re at the hospital, which of course the young lady agreed and wished a get well soon for Yixing, even though they’re far, far away from that.

The friends have spent their time together catching up, and Chanyeol even gave the demo of their track together. Maybe after some time, they could start recording.

And maybe Yixing could still make time and memories with his friends, his children and his Baekhyun.

* * *

“C-Can we see daddy some time, Baek hyung?” Jongdae pulled on the seam of Baekhyun’s tee, trying to gain the elder’s attention. They’re on their way to the pre chool and Baekhyun volunteered to look out for the kids while Yixing is already staying at the hospital.

Baekhyun could never forget the twins’ reaction when he talked about their father being in the hospital. They were crying, of course, but Jongdae was the first one to calm down and even comforted Jongin, who was wailing non-stop and he always cries at night saying he misses his daddy so much.

They haven’t seen Yixing for a week and they have been dying to see him. Baekhyun and Sehun are taking turns in tending the twins and the two doesn’t seem to complain. They like their uncles’ company tho.

Baekhyun kneeled down to level with Jongdae and Jongin’s height, giving them a look and patted the younger one’s head, smiling. “The doctors said that your daddy will return home at the weekends, so you guys should behave and don’t make him tired from taking care of you two, okay?”

“But can you just stay with us, so you can take care of daddy at times, too, hyung?” Jongin suggested, and Baekhyun thought, it’ll be a good idea. He should ask Yixing if he’ll allow him.

* * *

Junmeyon had wrote formally to Yixing’s university about his current state and it seems like they understood his condition and Yixing’s professors had already lessen his work load and they’ve decided to require his mini demo album for his final requirement for his graduation. It will still depend on Yixing’s health state if he can still attend graduation ceremony or they’ll just hand him his diploma.

Yixing groaned upon finding about this, saying he has started small contents of his other requirements but Junmyeon scolded him for being too workaholic and stuff. And just told him to take care of the demo he has to finish.

It was confirmed that Yixing had lost control of his limbs and arms, because the tumor was already invading the back part of his head, due to the continuous medications he’s receiving. There are times that he can get a grip, but it wasn’t lasting long. He hasn’t undergone chemotherapy yet, but the reason he stayed for a week is because he was under tests and according to his latest check-up, the tumor has stopped growing at a speedy rate, nothing positive, but still, it slowed down. But there will be a time that Yixing must undergo sessions.

The doctor had advised his friends about the dos and don’ts. Number one of the don’t is overworking. Another is less stress for him. A healthy diet is a must, courtesy of Chanyeol, despite of his comeback nearly approaching, he promised he will always make time for his friend.

Yixing, who was already seated in a wheelchair, was being pushed by Baekhyun, who has never left his side, except for his work at preschool and when looking out for the twins. Baekhyun could literally feel the excitement radiating off Yixing upon knowing that he’ll be discharged and will be seeing his beloved sons whom he missed so much.

“I’ll be having my treatment as soon, Baekhyun. Can you still bear seeing me like this? I’ll be definitely looking bald and weak and ugly.” Yixing looked at the younger as soon as they reached the parking lot, already in front of Yixing’s car. “Shut up, Xing. I’ll take care of you until the end. I promise. And you will never be ugly in my eyes, baby.” Baekhyun kneeled, leveling Yixing’s line of sight, his hand holding the elder’s tightly. “I don’t care if you’ll look bald and weak, you’re still my Zhang Yixing, okay? My one and only.” He smiled sweetly, before leaning forward to place a chaste kiss against Yixing’s slightly chapped lips. “Fight for me, okay? We’ll make every second worth it.” Then he stood up and carried Yixing in the car.

* * *

The next few days were very busy, but Baekhyun still makes sure that he never neglects Yixing from his daily duties. Yixing had stopped working for Luhan and he just stays home and Baekhyun as officially moved in with him and the kids. Yixing just busies himself with his final requirement and it seems to be working fine.

“Daddy?” Jongin stepped inside the bedroom and he quickly reached for his father and hugged him tightly. “Hello there, sweetie. Where’s Jongdae?” Yixing smiled and ruffled his son’s hair. “He’s still outside with Appa.” He giggles and Yixing was taken aback at how the child addressed Baekhyun. “Appa? Are you even pertaining to Baekhyun?” Yixing laughed, rather bashfully, his turning red at it and he can’t even hide it from Jongin. “You know too well, daddy!” “B-but why call him appa?” He bit his lip, cheeks turning a very dark shade of red and Jongin teased him more by poking it. “You love Baekhyun hyung!! You don’t have to hide, daddy. We want him to be our appa!” Jongin declared, before fishing something from his pocket, a beaded bracelet. “We did some bracelets at class earlier, daddy. Dae did a pairing one for Appa.” He reached out for Yixing’s hand and placed the accessory on his palm. There were three letters in the form of ‘BBH’ and Yixing could just coo at how cute it is. “This is actually perfect, baby. You know what, I even wanted to buy a promise ring for him, but you know that Daddy can’t walk anymore, right?”

“That is why me and Dae-ah made pair bracelets for you.” Jongin giggled, flailing his small arms on air before throwing himself, but gently, on his father who quickly caught him. “Thanks, baby. This already means so much to me.”

Their father-son moment was quickly interrupted upon hearing a cough from the doorstep, where Baekhyun, with Jongdae in his arms, are watching the two, a fond smile etched on the younger’s face. “Hi.” Yixing greeted, his cheeks tinted redder upon seeing him. “Can you look after them for the moment? I’ll just buy us groceries. And you will have to teach me since I will be the one who’ll aid the kitchen starting later.” Baekhyun smirked as he brought Jongdae down near Yixing, the latter having a glance at Baekhyun’s wrist wrapped around a beaded bracelet and has the initials “ZYX” in it.

Yixing swore he couldn’t get redder that moment.

“Whatever, Baek. Burn my kitchen or I’ll burn you.” Yixing rolled his eyes and the little shit Baekhyun is, he stuck his tongue out mockingly at the elder. “You take care, Mr. Byun.”

“Yeah, take care, Appa! Daddy will have to marry you soon!” Jongdae yelled and both adults had their eyes almost bulging out of their sockets, “W-what?” Baekhyun stuttered, not even believing what he just heard. “Appa, who?” He pointed out at himself, his jaw almost dropping. “M-me?” Baekhyun looked away, biting the inside of his cheek in order to keep himself from grinning at that indirect blessing they got from Yixing’s children. But, of course, he pretended to panic and scrambled out of the room, only to hear the twins giggling at his expression.

Yixing, then turned to look at his sons. “What are you two talking about? Who’s gonna marry who?” Jongdae scooted closer to his father’s space, looking up at him. “Daddy’s marrying Baekhyun Appa!”

“Do you two really want Baekhyun to be a part of our family?” Yixing asked once more, for confirmation, only to be replied by two heads nodding enthusiastically at him. “Why?” Yixing added, he wanted to know what made the twins agree at such decision.

“We love him!” Jongin replied, already answering for the other, but Jongdae’s response is what made Yixing’s chest bloomed with so much love and affection.

“Baekhyun Appa makes daddy happy. You are always smiling whenever he is around too, and your eyes sparkle when you look at him, daddy.”

He was so damn lucky that Jongdae and Jongin are his sons.

“Is it really okay if me and Baekhyun are together? It doesn’t weird you out or something?” Yixing still can’t believe that his kids are accepting his personal desires so openly. “Of course. Anything for you, daddy.” Jongin confirmed for the last time and both twins hugged their father tightly.

“We love you, daddy. We want you happy too.” Jongdae mumbled along Yixing’s neck, almost wanting to squirm but he held it as he wanted his sons close to him.

* * *

“Do you feel any pain right now, baby?” Baekhyun checked on Yixing as soon as possible when the latter was brought out from the treatment room. Thanking the nurse silently, Baekhyun took his place behind the wheelchair and pushed his lover back in his room in the hospital. Yixing looked up at him, a small smile painted on his lips, and shook his head.

Lies.

Baekhyun knew Yixing’s lying but decided not to push through to that topic. He seriously wanted to cry in front of him but he needs to be strong, he needs to be strong _for them._ Maybe Baekhyun could, when he’s alone, _when Yixing’s out of his sight._

It has been four months and Yixing started his treatment at the succession of the first month, there were those first attempts in Yixing’s treatment, he would cry out in pain. Baekhyun couldn’t just look at his lover suffering so much, it pains him as well. As what usual cancer patients obtain, Yixing already has a cloth wrapped around his head as his hair loss was mostly caused by his treatment. He had stayed in the hospital while Sehun or sometimes Junmyeon and Joohyun would look after the twins. And there was Chanyeol who always visits once to twice a week to make a delicious and healthy food for his friend, except for last month, due to the constant practices he attends, music video shooting and photoshoots. And Baekhyun, he took a leave at preschool to tend his boyfriend, and sometimes, bringing his kids.

With the album, they had already recorded a week after the start of Yixing’s chemotherapy sessions, Loey and Lay’s works combined together is truly a masterpiece that no other could easily level. They recorded as soon as the doctors gave approval in Yixing’s quick leave. He wanted to do this for his friends, for Chanyeol, who has been with him at times of need. Junmyeon, Baekhyun and Yixing’s voices perfectly blended together and it contrasts well with Sehun and Chanyeol’s rapping. That additional track of Loey’s album will truly be a hit. Chanyeol couldn’t be much more thankful for his friends. And Yixing was so delighted that he can still help despite his situation.

“B-baekhyun...” Yixing whispered as he was being transferred back in his hospital bed, wanting to reach out for the other’s wrist, but he’s unable to grip on it, so instead, the latter did it for him, took his hand as he sat down at the chair beside his bed. “Yes, jagiya?” Baekhyun replied, the fondness on Yixing’s eyes never disappears despite his weak state. “Can you contact Junmyeon for me? I wanted to talk to him for a moment.” And of course, Baekhyun complied, picking up Yixing’s phone, unlocking it through face detection and started dialing Junmyeon before plugging the earbuds in Yixing’s ear. “I’ll be downstairs, love. I’ll buy us lunch.” Baekhyun told him, leaning forward and pecked Yixing’s lips rather loudly before striding out of the room.

“You know, Xing. I wasn’t supposed to head your loud kissing noises.” Junmyeon teased, he can feel that the elder guy is smirking by the way he talked about it. “Whatever, dude. I was just thinking… Baekhyun’s birthday is on the 6th, The twins on the 18th, and yours on the 22nd. Can we have a quadruple celebration or something? This might be my last cele—” “Shut the fuck up, man. We’re not talking about lasts and shits. But I’m up for a celebration at the twins’ birthday since it falls on a weekend, what do you say?” Junmyeon suggested, he must have started planning or something. “That would be perfect. Can you help me with it? I think we can celebrate here in my room. It’s kinda huge, you, bummer. I could go for a smaller one!”

Yes, Yixing was staying at a huge and it must be expensive room, paid mostly by Kim Junmyeon’s ass again. Junmyeon insisted that he wanted his friend to be comfortable and feel less sick.

It was kind of true, since seeing white walls all over was making him sicker than ever. At least, there was a view of the city and the space was big. And it will be so convenient for the party Yixing has planned.

“Can we start preparing at the night of the 17th, then? Baekhyun will not be around that time since he’ll be staying with the kids for that night.” Yixing requested, he was now feeling hesitant because of the favors he always asks at Junmyeon, but he’s just making sure he’s making the most of his left time. “Anything you want, Xing. By the way, how’s your treatment today?”

“Painful, but I can manage now. I’m almost getting bald tho. I look ugly and pathetic already.” Yixing ranted at his friend, only to hear a scoff from the other man in line. “With that, I object. Xing, it’s just appearance. In our eyes, especially Baekhyun’s, you’re the most beautiful guy we’ve laid our eyes on, well, we all are since we’re all handsome. But either ways, you have a beautiful heart and soul. And everybody could already see through it.”

“Since when have you been using such words towards me, Jun?” Yixing laughed, but deep inside, he felt flattered and kinda proud that someone as handsome as Junmyeon has addressed him as handsome too.

The two talked about more and Yixing noticed that it was already 20 minutes and Baekhyun hasn’t returned yet, so he decided to drop off something to Junmyeon.

“Jun-ah, can I ask a favor?” Yixing asked, he was already thinking twice whether to push with his plan or what. “What is it, Xing?” The elder one asked. It took Yixing a full minute to decide whenever he should do it or not, but in the end, he did anyway.

“Can you help me buy a ring?”

* * *

“Happy birthday, love.” Yixing whispered the moment Baekhyun claimed his lips hungrily at their first meeting at the 6th of May. Small whimpers left Yixing’s lips and Baekhyun was more welcome to drink and get drowned at the noises his boyfriend was eliciting, his hands crawling to Yixing’s cheek, caressing it gently, too gentle, that Yixing may break anytime soon.

“I love you and thank you, baby.” Baekhyun pulled back, but still maintaining a close distance to the elder’s face, staring deeply at the other’s droopy eyes. “I’m sorry, I am incapable of giving you anything.” Yixing pouted his full lower lip and weakly clung on Baekhyun, trying to make himself cute for the younger. “Stop that, you’re making me want to devour your lips.” Baekhyun whined, his thumb brushing Yixing’s lower lip, eyeing it for a moment.

“You know what, my kisses and love are the only things I could give you as my gift for your birthday.” Yixing said, matter of fact. And Baekhyun just grinned at the offer and he leaned in, trapping Yixing’s lower lip between his teeth before sucking it hungrily, his eyes never leaving Yixing’s. All he received from the elder one was a whimper, and damn. It sounded so delicious in Baekhyun’s ears. “I love you, Byun Baekhyun.” Yixing mumbled before engaging into another heated kiss with his lover, drowning themselves in their love and giggles.

They’re totally whipped.

That very night, Jongdae and Jongin were at Junmyeon’s since Sehun went home at his parents, Baekhyun stayed with Yixing the whole day, Baekhyun buying a small cake for himself, because he insisted that he wanted to celebrate his birthday with his Yixing, even if it’s just the two of them, no fancy occasions, just two lovers in love, celebrating the birth of the other one.

After Yixing singing a birthday song for the younger man, “Baekhyun-ah. Thank you for being born. Even if my birthday is still in 5 months, your existence and love always feels like a gift to me. More like a Christmas, Birthday, and Thanksgiving gift. I’m glad.” Yixing confessed, his cheesy lines from their past was remade and it felt deeper and more meaningful. “You always say the same things, even back in high school, Xingie.” Baekhyun laughed and brought the cake back in the box and placed it at the personal fridge provided by the room and went back at his place beside Yixing.

“Can you lie down with me, Baek? The bed may be fit for one but you know we always have our ways, right?” Yixing suggested, a small blush creeping on his face. Baekhyun smiled and helped the other man scoot a little to give himself space before filling that same space, bringing Yixing’s head by his chest, pulling the elder closer to him. “Are you comfortable there, baby?” Baekhyun asked and looked down at Yixing who has his eyes closed, snuggling closer at the former. He already knew the answer. He looks like a baby and Baekhyun’s heart was bringing happiness and pain at the same time. “You know I’m always comfortable and secured when you’re here beside me, love.” Yixing mumbled, and they just stayed in that position until they both fell asleep, Baekhyun holding Yixing so tight in his arms, half-terrified that Yixing might disappear anytime soon.

Yixing suddenly felt that sharp pain on is head, but he pushed it aside and tried making himself comfortable in Baekhyun’s arms, not wanting to wake the younger up. Eventually, he did.

* * *

That moment Chanyeol made a visit at Yixing’s room, he has brought his laptop and help in finalizing Yixing’s piece in order for the latter to obtain his diploma. He will be unable to attend his graduation because he’s already getting weaker and weaker every day, but he can still receive his diploma as soon as he’ll submit his final project.

Chanyeol placed the laptop on Yixing’s lap and placed the earbuds on his ear before smashing the space bar with his thumb. Yixing closed his eyes and listened carefully at his own work, humming in with the song.

Maybe, he did maybe, write the song in Baekhyun’s perspective, but he’s sure it was made by the fruit of his creativity and wide imagination.

“You’re serious about putting the tracks together? I’ll go work on it now, hyung.” Chanyeol suggested, removing the earphones from his laptop, Yixing looked hesitant but he was left with no choice but to accept his friend’s helping hand. “As long as it’s not bothering your work, Yeollie.”

“I’ll have this in the CD and submit it at your uni as soon as possible.” Chanyeol smiled before the two started talking about their most favorite topic to talk about when together. Music production.

Three knocks distracted the two from talking, Yixing mumbled a “Come in” and the door revealed a Junmyeon with tons of bags in his hands. “Of course! It’s 17th today!” Yixing mentally slapped himself for almost forgetting. “What are you talking about?” Chanyeol looked confused and looked at the eldest who started unpacking stuff at the table. “Uh, I suggested to Jun once, if maybe, we could have a quadruple celebration tomorrow? Baekhyun’s birthday, my graduation, Jongdae and Jongin’s 5th birthday and as well as Junmyeon’s.”

“What?” Chanyeol looked at his hyungs in disbelief. “We just don’t want to add another schedule at your tightly packed one, Yeol. I just hope you are free tomorrow, tho.” Junmeyon replied as the youngest made its way to the shorter guy, unpacking the banners and balloons from its packs.

Junmyeon and Chanyeol had started decorating the whole hospital room, Chanyeol’s unreleased album’s tracks being the white noise, Yixing was always amazed at his friend’s works, it’s refreshing and he can really tell that Chanyeol’s trying out different genres and it’s nice.

“Is there a way I can help, guys?” Yixing voice rang throughout the room and the two turned at their friend who was just looking at them expectantly, a small pout playing on his face.

“Disgusting, hyung. We’re not Baekhyun, don’t do that.” Chanyeol fake-gagged, accompanied by fake disgusted noises and a snicker from Junmyeon who’s struggling to hang the banners. “By the way, just stay there, we’ll do everything. And please, hyung. Tell us if you’re feeling pain in your head, okay?” Yixing just nodded and just watched his friends work over.

Yixing had noticed that Junmyeon was already in front of him, handing him a purple velvet box, he smiled at his friend as the slightly elder male placed it on his palm. “Just work on your proposal, Xing.” He smiled back and patted the man’s shoulder. “I’m rooting for it tomorrow.” “Thanks, Jun,” Yixing tried his hardest to grip on the box while opening it with the other hand, fortunately, he succeeded. “This is so Baekhyun.” He stared at the jewelry intently, a smile on his face having no plans of wavering.

* * *

“Happy birthday! Baekhyun, Jongdae and Jongin!” accompanied by noise makers and poppers were heard that very moment Baekhyun with the twins entered the decorated room, the three had their jaws dropped and the people already inside, consisting of Junmyeon, Joohyun with Kyungsoo, Minseok and Sooyoung, Chanyeol, Taeyong, Ahyoung and her daughter, Minah, and Sehun, wanted to laugh at the very similar expressions they have. “And also, advance birthday for our Junmyeonie!” Yixing yelled with all his strength could do and more poppers exploded through the room.

“What is this?” Baekhyun laughed, letting go of the twins and made his way straight at Yixing’s bed, kissing his lips deeply. And it seems like the adults have expected such act as they quickly covered the kids’ eyes, groaning in disgust. “Please, we have kids here.” Ahyoung yelled and it was quick for Baekhyun and Yixing to pull back, their cheeks tinted red like a fucking tomato, but their gazes never broke despite of feeling slightly embarrassed, full of fondness and love that no one could ever break.

“Can we please stop being all mushy and disgusting? We’re here to celebrate for Yixing’s twins’!” Joohyun rolled her eyes and watched her three kids play with the twins and Ahyoung’s child.

“We can be mushy and disgusting later, honey.” A pair of arms snaked around Joohyun and the simple act made Sehun choke on his place. “Why am I the only single guy here?”

Upon hearing, Chanyeol made its way towards the youngest adult and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “You’re not alone, Hunnie.” Chanyeol winked, and Sehun choked, feeling fake disgusted at his hyung’s antics. “Go away!” He laughed, playfully pushing the artist away. “Hey, I am single too!” Taeyong shouted off and joined the duo, before Sehun beckoned the two to go with him outside, Yixing hearing something about buying a cake for the celebrants.

From the bed, Yixing was silently watching his friends bicker and a small smile was painting his features. He will surely miss everything, his friends: Junmyeon, Chanyeol, Sehun, Taeyong, Ahyoung; his twins, nephews and nieces that he loves: Jongdae, Jongin, Minseok, Kyungsoo, Sooyoung and Minah. And mostly, the man who has been with him ever since things went to a great downfall, the man who never left his side despite of the busy schedules he has, the man who became the second father of his twins, his first love, his one and only. Baekhyun.

“What are you thinking about, baby?” Baekhyun turned at his lover who was just looking at the small gathering at his hospital room, taking the small space on Yixing’s bed to sit on, holding his boyfriend tightly. “Cherishing memories, as always. We will never know when these things will end.” Yixing turned at Baekhyun and smiled weakly, before grabbing the small velvet box under his pillow and handed it on Baekhyun.

“Wear that, okay. My love for you is a promise that will remain wherever I will go. Forever.” Yixing rested his head at the junction of Baekhyun’s neck and collarbone, closing his eyes as he tries putting the forming pain on his head again aside. “I love you.” He whispered, puckering his lips to leave a subtle kiss on Baekhyun’s neck, and he loved how he felt Baekhyun shiver at the contact.

Baekhyun was frozen on his place, his eyes staring at the ring in the box, the light making it look sparkly. “Babe, this is so beautiful…” There were tears forming in Baekhyun’s eyes, but he failed to keep himself from tearing up as droplets flowed freely, blurring his sight of Yixing and the twins approaching them.

“Appa? Why are you crying?” Jongdae beckoned his twin to get a tissue paper from their uncle Junmyeon and the younger twin did as what he was told, coming back with tissue paper in his hands, handing it at the man beside their daddy. “Here, appa.” Jongin mumbled and Baekhyun whole-heartedly accepted it.

Baekhyun took the ring and placed it on his left ring finger, the band perfectly hugging his slender finger. “Why not ask your daddy, why am I crying?” Baekhyun wiped his eyes and pouted at the elder.

“Y-yah, daddy! Why are you—”

“Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday you~” Jongdae’s cute scolding was cut off when three voices rang through the room, Taeyong, Chanyeol and Sehun carrying one cake each, with Taeyong going straight to the twins, Chanyeol to Baekhyun, and Sehun to Junmyeon. And in no time, everybody was singing along with the three, smiling at the four celebrants.

It was the twins who blew out their candles at the same time, a smile on their faces as the candles went out. “We’re five already!” Jongin and Jongdae cheered, hugging each other while jumping in joy.

Junmyeon had already blew his candle and he groaned upon hearing a certain someone who yelled his real age. “Guess who’s thirty now?” Yixing laughed out loud, “Definitely Kim Junmyeon!” “Shut up! As if you’re way younger than me, Xing!”

Yixing, then turned at Baekhyun who was just staring at the flame on the candle for moment before blowing it with a small smile. “Happy birthday again, Baekhyu— O-ohw…” He wasn’t able to finish his greeting when that similar pain he kept on ignoring, kicked in like hell.

Maybe, it was really his fault for not letting anyone know if he’s feeling pain or what. Because, now. It was getting unbearable and he’s in the verge of screaming but he held himself in, not wanting to scare the kids. The guys were quick to put down the cakes their holding and helped in tending the kids to calm.

Baekhyun was taken aback and he quickly pressed the red button beside Yixing’s bed, calling for an emergency, Junmyeon had commanded the other adults to bring the kids outside, and as soon as Yixing had concluded that the kids were already outside, he screamed, and oh, Baekhyun witnessing it, it was a very painful sight, Chanyeol and Sehun had grabbed Baekhyun from behind when the nurse and doctor made their way inside, pulling the flailing man outside, as per what the doctor had requested.

“No! I can’t leave Yixing there, please…” Baekhyun knelt as soon as he was brought out of the room, crying uncontrollably, and Junmyeon was behind him, a hand caressing his back, and Chanyeol grabbed the smaller male in his arms, helping him seat at one of the seats by the hallway.

This scene felt all familiar six years ago, it was the same persons who were comforting him, Chanyeol and Junmyeon, but Sehun was now added to their group. And Baekhyun was breaking down because of the same reason: Yixing.

“Baek, he’ll be fine. Yixing’s strong… We all know it.” Junmyeon reassured, holding Baekhyun’s hands tight, and the two towers were just beside him, hugging their friend in comfort.

“I-I can’t lose Yixing now, Jun. Not now, p-please.” Baekhyun shook, maybe has no plans of dying down his crying sooner. “I c-can’t…”

* * *

“It seems Yixing hyung’s chemotherapy isn’t doing any improvement anymore, but it will just prolong his life, and he’ll grow weaker the more he undergoes it.” Sehun conveyed what the doctor has recently told him, Junmyeon’s heart broke at the news, and stared at the sleeping Baekhyun snuggled in Chanyeol, he passed out and got tired from crying.

Chanyeol looked at the sleeping figure and he really can’t help but to feel really sad about it. He was unable to hold back his tears, and Baekhyun got aroused from the tear droplet that reached his cheeks. “Chanyeol? Junmyeon hyung? Sehun?” Baekhyun weakly called out, his voice still raspy and broken. “P-please, just rest for a while, Baek..” Junmyeon lied, quickly averting his gaze at the second eldest.

“Can we visit Yixing now?” Baekhyun insisted, attempting to stand up but Sehun gently pushed him back to sit. “Hyung, just rest for a while, please. Yixing hyung’s resting at the moment, so you should too, as well.”

“Nevermind, I’ll just go back home and take care of the twins. I must have been hard for them to see their father suffer in front of their eyes. They’re too young to witness such painful sight.” Baekhyun sighed, “It’s even their birthday.” He released himself from his friends’ hold and went back to the room where Yixing was confined, his heart shattered at the sight of Yixing on bed, but he looks so peaceful and much weaker. He must have gone through an unexpected medications and sessions.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, baby. I love you so much, please don’t leave me yet.” Baekhyun grabbed his hand and leaned down, pressing a long kiss on Yixing’s forehead, eyes closed as to prevent himself from tearing up. “Please gather up so more energy, love.” Baekhyun pulled back and he fished something from his pocket.

A bracelet.

“Have this with you for a while. Feel my presence while I’m not here personally.” Baekhyun whispered and locked the bracelet around Yixing’s wrist, then fiddled with the ring wrapped on his finger.

Baekhyun left the room with a heavy heart, fighting with his tears again.

* * *

“Appa, what happened? Is daddy okay?” Jongdae quickly asked as soon as Baekhyun picked them up from Ahyoung, his face was puffy, it seems like he was crying so hard until Baekhyun arrived. The latter stood silent and smiled weakly. “Let’s get inside first, ne?” Baekhyun replied, his heart getting more broken when they entered the cold apartment.

He can’t look straight at the twins’, he doesn’t even know how the two will able to handle such news.

Jongin started crying at Baekhyun’s silence, and the latter was quick to engulf the child in his arms, patting his back to calm him down. He looked at Jongdae who has his head down and Baekhyun called out the other and Jongdae cried loudly as well.

“We miss d-daddy so m-much, appa...” “C-can he go h-home soon?” The twins cried, taking turns in declaring their longing for their father. And Baekhyun was just there, comforting the kids with all he can, despite himself in the verge of breaking down as well. But he needed to be strong for Yixing’s sons, the ones whom he treated as his own as well. He’s the adult so he must keep his emotions for himself in a while and let the kids let out theirs.

“Your daddy will be fine. We’ll see him again soon.” Baekhyun knew he was lying, but he needed to reassure the young minds. And Baekhyun will really find a way to bring them to Yixing even if it is for the last time.

It took an hour or two before the twins’ have calmed down, with Jongdae comforting Jongin who was still sobbing silently. “Nini-ah, let’s be strong for daddy, too?” Jongdae, surely for a 5-year old, speaks so much of his mind and speaks older for his actual age, he tries to be the mature one, and it admired Baekhyun so much.

“Appa, I’m h-hungry.” Jongin hiccoughed, wiping his tear-stained face with his shirt, his face still down and crestfallen, Baekhyun just wanted to pepper his small face with kisses, but he was also not in the mood to do so.

“You’re lucky I brought our cake before going home!” Baekhyun tried to be cheerful as he can, but the memory of Yixing being unconscious in the hospital bed was worrying him. He might look peaceful sleeping, he never knows how peaceful that was. He has decided that he’ll return the day after, so he’ll just be hands on to the twins.

Baekhyun made his way to the kitchen, got the cake out of the box, grabbing a knife and slicing a big piece for the three of them to share, and clumsily transferring that same but crumbled piece into another plate. He can’t help but to look around. The apartment felt so incomplete without Yixing, it has been months since he hasn’t come home. He has been staying at the hospital in order to avoid exhaustion from the travel and stuff. It was better tho, for the twins not to see their father in a very devastating state.

Jongdae and Jongin went their way to Baekhyun as soon at the latter called out to them, and they started eating their shared cake slice in silence, but when that moment when Jongdae asks about his daddy, Baekhyun reassures that their daddy Yixing will be fine as a feather. He hopes.

“W-where’s Baekhyun??” Were the first words that left Yixing’s lips as soon as he woke up, his throat felt dry as his voice was very raspy with sleep. The called name was nowhere to be found, but another figure was there beside him, Sehun, who quickly helped Yixing sit and gave him water, the latter drinking as carefully as he can, his head hurting at every gulp of water. “Baekhyun?”

“He’s in your apartment with the twins, hyung.” Sehun simply replied, getting the glass and placed it at the nightstand, before turning to the elder again. “How long have I been sleeping?” Yixing asked, lifting his hand to his nape, but his arm limped, falling back on his lap, he sighed, but his attention was directed at the bracelet wrapped around his wrist.

“It’s the 20th now, so just two days, Baek hyung even came here yesterday to check on you, hyung.” Yixing’s ear ringed at the mention of his lover’s name, “Really? Then he must have placed this on me.” He bowed his head, indirectly pointing at the bracelet. “He must have.” Sehun replied, and there was silence.

Sehun helped the elder to lie down once more, but he was facing one side as he kept on complaining that his head is getting worse. It didn’t take long when Yixing and Sehun heard two knocks, with the latter making his way at the door, it was Baekhyun.

“Xingie.” Baekhyun weakly smiled at the elder, making his way after greeting Sehun silently by the door frame. The latter excused himself and he left the two to talk.

“How are you feeling?” Baekhyun sat at the chair beside Yixing’s bed, grabbing Yixing’s hand in his, kissing it endlessly. “Honestly, baby, I’m feeling terrible.” And that statement itself made Baekhyun frown, but he was glad that Yixing didn’t even lie at him at his weakest state.

Yixing looks weaker that he had last seen two days ago, there were bags under his eyes and his lips got paler. Baekhyun, nevertheless, still sees his beloved as the most ethereal person in his eyes, nothing changes. Their comfortable silence of just staring at each other for a few minutes was halted when a doctor went inside, greeting the couple.

“Mr. Byun? Can I talk to you in private?” The doctor asked, and Baekhyun just nodded, following the doctor’s steps to his office. His chest feeling heavy and unsated at the news that was about to welcome his mind.

“Let me get straight, Mr. Byun, but Mr. Zhang’s case is already impossible to cure, or even lessen. His tumor had grown so big and is slowly spreading to his body. The treatment wasn’t doing any improvement, even if we’re letting him take more.” The doctor confessed, there was a hint of sadness on his eyes. “Mr. Zhang had been so strong fighting this for three years, it may seem to be too fast but it seems like his cancer cells were already growing since his teenage years. I’m sorry, we couldn’t do anything more, he doesn’t even want to undergo surgery in the first place.”

Baekhyun knew it was really the end, he didn’t want to cry in front of the doctor, so he smiled sadly in return and excused himself out, and that’s where he lost it, his sobs filled the hallway, people are already looking but he didn’t care. It hurts. Everything was almost perfect, things were already in their places, except for this one. It was an almost happy ending that had a very unexpected plot twist at the few lines of the denouement.

“Hyung…” Was Sehun’s voice from the other end of the hallway, quickly running to his best friend and caught the smaller guy before he collapses down. “S-Sehun-ah… Why?” Long series of “Whys” left Baekhyun’s lips accompanied by his painful cry and uncontrollable tears.

It took time for Baekhyun to calm down, but his mind will never falter down at the thought of it. He and Sehun went back to Yixing’s room, and they were greeted by Yixing’s weakest smile that broke Baekhyun’s heart into millions and billions of pieces, the mere fact that his one and only lover was in that damned white sheets, laying down and looking at him like that, Baekhyun couldn’t even believe that he managed to stay sturdy in front of Yixing.

“Baby, I’m d-dying, right?” Yixing asked and Baekhyun shook his head, his mind still not accepting the fact that Yixing might disappear in front of his sight, he went back at his usual spot beside Yixing. “Let m-me have one last more of the t-treatment. I still w-wanted to spend more time w-with you. I still have t-to make y-you hear my song.” Yixing lifted his arm, landing accurately at Baekhyun’s cheek, caressing his cheeks ever so gentle. And that was the very moment that Baekhyun lost it, his hand catching Yixing’s that was about to fall and lets it rest more on his cheek, savoring Yixing’s warmth, and Baekhyun was crying again.

“E-even up until now, you… you’re being that selfless shit that I became accustomed to.” Baekhyun mumbled, closing his eyes.

“I love you, Byun Baekhyun.” Yixing whispered multiple times, wanted to let the other hear as much as he could.

Baekhyun couldn’t even tell the twins their father’s situation, every time he looks at Jongin and Jongdae, Yixing will appear on his mind a second after. He had promised Yixing that he’ll be taking care of the twins since he really loves them like his own. Jongdae and Jongin may not have seen their mother personally, it’s still painful thinking that they grew up without even knowing Song Qian, she was a nice and lovable lady.

He’s already preparing on how to deal with the twins when that dreadful day comes, they loved Yixing so much, they labeled him as the best person and dad they ever had. No one could even replace him, even Baekhyun.

The twins were back in Sehun’s care and Baekhyun was 24/7 hands-on with Yixing, he even accompanied the elder at his final and requested treatment, and it seems like Yixing had grown weaker than ever, he got skinnier and hairless.

He kept on degrading himself, everyday and every second, but Baekhyun was always there to shut the other up with his lips, it was just a smack but it never fails to bring butterflies in Yixing’s tummy. Oh, how he loved Byun Baekhyun so much, he’s very lucky he fell in love with this man since high school. Baekhyun was truly irreplaceable. Sure, Song Qian did have a place in his heart, but Baekhyun? He was occupying Yixing’s heart and mind.

“B-baekhyunnie…” Yixing called out, one night, Baekhyun lifted his head from his sleep and stared at the other man, a small smile plastered on his lips. “Yes, baby?” “C-Can you open soundcloud? Y-you know, the account where we u-used to upload our d-duets back in h-highschool?” Baekhyun complied, quickly fumbling his phone, opening the app to their home page, surprised to see a new song file on top of the list.

He was about to play the file when Yixing asked him to go to bed with him, and the thought itself was getting strange to Baekhyun, but he promised that no matter what happens for the following minutes, he’ll be ready. Baekhyun gently made his boyfriend sit and he occupied the space behind Yixing, the former was leaning at the bed frame and Yixing’s body was limply lying on Baekhyun’s, head on the latter’s chest.

He wrapped his arms around his Yixing and pressed a soft kiss on the top of his head. Baekhyun fished his earphones from his pockets at plugged it to his phone, putting one bud on his and one on Yixing. “C-can you play it n-now?” Yixing whispered, his eyes darted on Baekhyun’s phone before slightly closing it.

Baekhyun played the file and a few strums of guitar filled his hearing, followed by Yixing’s melodious and soothing voice.

He was drowning himself in it and listening into Yixing’s weak singing with the song, when he heard a line that made him froze.

_“I wanna say goodbye.”_

Baekhyun had his eyes open and stared at Yixing as the song continues, he can pick up a few Mandarin but that very line made him lost focus, _“Was this really it?”_

His mind screams that he’s ready, but his heart is not.

There was a soft smile on Yixing’s lips as he clings on Baekhyun and weakly singing the lyrics. The latter was trying so much not to cry, but a few tears has already rolled down his cheeks, he tried so hard not to make noises that might disrupt Yixing’s singing, but he failed, he kept on sniffling, but it seems like Yixing was just letting him and kept on singing, almost incoherent.

_“Missing you was such a bad habit of mine.”_

Reminds him of those times that moment when he and Yixing had crossed paths the past year, he never thought that he was still harboring feelings for the man after six years had passed. And it indeed become a bad habit of his as he easily gets distracted during classes, especially when he gets to see Jongin and Jongdae by the corner, eating their precious lunch made by Yixing himself.

The last few lines were about to approach when he felt the body on him become rigid and unmoving, accompanied by a straight beeping noise from the heart monitor. That was it. Baekhyun finally lets his sobs freely, his hug on Yixing’s body tightened. “You’re so unfair!” He mumbled, half-shouting, he knew Yixing will never hear him anymore, or maybe his soul will. “Baby, I love you so much…”

Baekhyun lifted Yixing’s face, caressing the cold skin before pressing a kiss on the other’s pair, muttering series of “I love yous and you did well” against his lips. It hurts, Baekhyun was hurting so much, but he was already expecting this to happen any time soon. He kept on caressing Yixing as if he’s just sleeping soundly on his chest, but this time, there were no responses like a soft hum, or sometimes a whine.

“I’ll miss you so much.”

As expected, Jongdae and Jongin were a crying mess as soon as Baekhyun delivered the news to them, and he can’t help but to comfort the twins and just provide hugs for the two. Hearing the children cry was making his heart shattered, they were too young to lose the only parent that they grew up to, they were too young to experience this kind of pain, but that’s life, everything is unpredictable.

“W-will you b-be our a-appa n-now?” Jongdae sniffled. His red, swollen eyes looking at Baekhyun who was just looking at him fondly, the latter nodded and that made the twins cry again, mostly pain but with a hint of relief that they will never be in other unknown people’s care. They will prefer to be with Sehun, Junmyeon, Chanyeol, Ahyoung or Taeyong, but of course, Baekhyun has already promised Yixing that he’ll be a substitute father, with Yixing disagreeing with his term “substitute”

_“Don’t call yourself a substitute, they love you like their own parent, Baek.”_ He remembers Yixing’s exact words.

Out of their circle, it was Chanyeol who wailed so much, crying as hard as Baekhyun when he found out about Yixing’s passing, he already has Yixing’s graduation diploma with him, it was just fucking sad that Yixing wasn’t able to hold the fruits of his hardwork and passion. Junmyeon had cried as well, he was somehow blaming himself for not being able to help Yixing with his treatment and stuff, but Baekhyun kept on assuring him that he just did what he has to. And Sehun, he was very sad and cried because despite the short time knowing the elder, he has gained a friend that shares dancing as the same interest.

Yixing was indeed a great man, friend, a father and the best lover.

After 5 years.

“Hey, I’m back.” Baekhyun whispered, his hand grazing over the bark of tree where Yixing remains, a small smile on his face as he looked behind at the sight of his 10-year olds. “Life has been truly tough ever since you passed, I always say the same things, Xing, you know that. I never thought that parenting will be too hard. You have two notorious, but very loving sons now. They’ve grown so much, and it was sad, you’re unable to see them bloom. They’ll be in middle school in the fall. I was right back then when I told your sons that they’ll be as great as Chanyeol.” Baekhyun beckoned Jongin beside him and he placed an arm on the youngest’s shoulder. “Guess who got your moves. And guess who got your voice.” Then he beckoned the Jongdae to come beside him as well.

“Me and Sehun decided to train your not-babies-anymore babies with their talents tho, take it as the twins to fulfill what we’ve wanted back in the days, and they seem to like the idea. Me helping Jongdae with his singing and Sehun with Jongin’s dancing.” Baekhyun, then looked up the sky, “You wouldn’t really mind, right?” Then a gust of wind kissed Baekhyun’s skin, filling him with goosebumps, must be Yixing agreeing with him.

“I missed you so much, love.” Baekhyun whispered, a tear rolling off his cheek, but was smiling. “We missed you, daddy. I hope you’re seeing mommy there as well.” Jongdae smiled, looking above as well as Jongin.

Jongin’s tummy suddenly grumbled, ruining the silence and Baekhyun and Jongdae laughed at the blushing Nini. “Let’s grab lunch at your Uncle Junmyeon’s?” Jongin nodded at Baekhyun’s suggestion and he caressed the bark, smiling. “We’ll be back soon, daddy.”

_"And we'll see each other in another life, Xing."_

End.

**Author's Note:**

> And that was it. I accept criticisms and feedbacks, whether positive or negative, I wanted to improve, please. I'm crying, I managed to finish off my very first EXO and BaekXing fic 😭✊ took me maybe a month and a half to finish this, because of mental block and busy University schedules. 
> 
> I'm still honestly lacking, already rusting because of that long hiatus in writing. I want to improve my writing so badly because I'll be stuck in home in summer. Lol. I just wanted my hobby back and yeah.


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